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Explaining

Leia Skywalker

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How do you explain to someone that you don't want attention?

You don't want the award, you just want to keep working.

My whole life has been filled with moments where I should have just sat down and taken pride and what I accomplished, but I learned to keep moving. Attention brought to me was bad, because that meant I was seen

I don't want to be seen I just want to keep going.

That's what he taught me. Not to take pride in what I earned because I didn't really earn it, or if people saw me then they would see what happened. What they did to me. Which is even worse.

But how do you explain that to someone?

You don't.



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No you really don't. But be careful about becoming a workaholic. I know, I do this myself. Work is a good way to engage your mind in other things. But it takes a toll on us physically and mentally. Take some time to pamper yourself and relax. And you do not have any obligation to explain anything to anyone. 

Keep shining bright, 

Phoenix

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I used to work as many hours as possible and became tired out from it. After I understood my abuse better I felt more entitled and got better jobs and worked less hours. You need to work with your family or colleagues, not for them. I am not afraid to tell people I was sexually abused for years, but do not offer the information. People cannot look at you and discern that you have experienced something traumatic, but I used to feel that everyone could see right through me.

I learned at school that I could be entirely opaque and no-one was able to tell whether I was lying or not. It was a relief to realise I was not an open book and I knew that my fears and memories were my own and no-one else's. I have no need to lie and rarely do so and you do not need to explain what happened to you or why you find certain emotions difficult. I think you are seen and are valued, perhaps you should allow yourself to feel good about your accomplishments. I know it is difficult, but I think you want to succeed.

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