Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
  • entries
    5
  • comments
    5
  • views
    1,066

diary

nomadlady1

337 views

The thoughts and feelings that I need to separate from myself. The thoughts of failure which stem mainly from the trauma. The trauma that I continue to overlook. 

My name is Chloe Colaianni and when I was six years old I was almost raped by my neighbor. The experience has put me through hurdles, and my biggest hurdle right now is the anxiety I face. The anxiety is a huge part of me defeating this. The anxiety is a small little part of me that I need to wrap in a ball and throw away. Like my T said, I can regard the anxiety as a movie. Anytime I feel self doubt, take a breath and say out loud, Chloe, this is not you this is the anxiety. You do not have to nitpick at everything and overanalyze all to the point where you're making up scenarios in your head.

 

I accept myself, I accept that I was molested...And now I have to embrace the strong, woman that I am. But that starts with not fearing this anxiety. Not giving it power over me. Not gibing my mind power. Listening to my heart



1 Comment


Recommended Comments

Chloe, it took quite a bit of courage to post this. It sounds like you are perhaps hardest on your own self. I can definitely relate to that in general. It makes it so much more of a challenge to get through everything and likely comes as a result of what has happened to us.

I am so sorry what happened to you. Again, I can relate in general at least to the abuse at such an early age. You were just an innocent child and there is no excuse at all for what happened.

That anxiety thing and getting over it is sometimes easier said than done. I am a deep thinker on this end and am always analyzing and evaluating anything and everything so as to try making sense of things. Hard for my mind to even shut down.

I guess I'm trying to realize that sometimes, overthinking can make us even more exhausted and have everything lead to even more frustration. You mention control and that is a huge part of everything. I have tried in the past to dismiss and run while finding that this just leads to more problems as a result. Not allowing the anxiety to take charge of us while still giving it the opportunity to come out may be a best bet at times.

:luck:

Share this comment


Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×