I can't stop thinking that who I am is because of what he did. I can't stop thinking that I like the things I do, and I do the things I do because he made me into this. Into this girl who was introduced to sex way too early. Who became used to the idea of sex and actually liked it.
Everyone describes victims of sexual abuse as people who never want to have sex again, but I am not like that. Does that make me sick and disgusting? Does that mean he still has control over me?
I don't know.
I do know that I am making my own choices. I make my choices for me and my future, not to please him. I am not his anymore, I am my own person. I am free....or at least that's what everyone tells me. On a level that is true, he is not physically near me to take me. But he will always be tormenting me, but I can't let that ruin me. I cannot let him ruin my future.