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Moving Forward and Early Coping



This is the first thing I have been able to write. What happened is about  a month old so it's very fresh. I was finally able to put some words down in a piece I call "Forward." I share it on here in the hopes that it will bring me catharsis and perhaps others some help and catharsis too. 
I tell people I am managing
I tell people I am okay-ish
I tell people I am processing.
I tell people I am staying busy.
I tell people I am this, that, and the other thing
I tell people:
I am trying moving forward.
Forward. Adverb. 
The Origin is from an Old English word meaning "toward the future"
Currently defined as "toward a successful conclusion.
Try. Adjective .
The Origin is from an Old English word meaning "sift"
Currently defined as "attempting to achieve or attain"
So what I really tell people is:
I am attempting to achieve or attain moving onward toward a successful conclusion.
I am trying moving forward.
Emphasis on trying. 
Because, well, because there is no successful conclusion.
Not with this. Not with that. And not with the other thing.
There's  no time machine to end the loss. 
There's no futuristic tool to end the pain.
The memories are there. But the rest isn't.
I am trying to move forward.
I really am trying. 
But forward isn't there.


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