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Tree1

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So today was a little different. I'm pretty cautious when ppl give me the creep vibe but the man living in the apartment across lit my radar on fire. I stopped coming home only to drop off my siblings but I noticed he hasnt been home. Tonight is the first night I get to sleep in my own bed. But I sort of don't want to, I've been staying with my friend *Greg2* which as karma would have it is the same name as the man who raped me 125 times. Its weird being able to find a friend in him and sometimes lover (I'm 19 it happens). I genuinely feel like I may love him but he has a horrible secret. His ex accused him of raping her. And he believes he might have.. I'm scared sometimes because no isn't something anyone likes to hear but he treats me like his equal. He says he's a monster like that man but a monster wouldn't ask consent before even holding my hand. I enjoy our little hang outs and every once in a while our dates. Just making him smile makes me happy. But what if he actually has that demon inside of him and what if it rears its ugly head at me?

*name changed for privacy




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Listen to your gut! We get feelings about people for a reason..never ignore that.

Im also reminded of a quote by Maya Angelou ..."when people tell you who they are, believe them." Also something for you to keep in mind..

This man is telling you that he possibly raped a girl, and that he is a monster. It's entirely possible he's telling you the truth.

I know as a trauma survivor, its hard to figure out people's motivations, and it seems hard to feel like we deserve the best. Sometimes we are blinded to people's awful sides.

And monsters use all sorts of tricks to lure their prey in before they attack...he could be buttering you up and once he knows he's got you, he could show his monster side. Please be careful.

 

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That's exactly what I thought. Then I talked to a friend who knows both of us and she said this might even benefit both of us like we rely on each other to feel normal, like we fix each other. I'm a little anxious to see how it turns out

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