I don't know.
I don't currently have a therapist, I'm considering restarting.
I'd like to be able to accept it as part of me, to love myself and enjoy my life, to get past feeling guilty and obsessing about this.
To live, free from the little voice in the back of my head convinced every little noise is Luke come to make good on his threats, blaming me, shaming me. Making me feel like nothing I do could ever be good enough because every decision I make is affected/tainted by what happened to me.
I'd like to be able to talk about it, even vaguely, even online -anonymously, without panicking. I want to be able to use my experiences to support and help others.