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Reliving to Heal

howlieowl

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ive been in a stretch with not thinking too much about my past. ive been reliving it somewhat recently. ive had encounters with difficult people, facing rejection, standing up for myself against those i normally cower from. the list continues. sometimes im successful, sometimes im not. i do know that by facing those similar events again, i do feel a little better after. the encounters when im uncomfortable around certain men hasnt changed. still feel frozen and scared and that fear locks on strong. im still struggling with my temper as well. im having reliving to deal with a mean and difficult person. typically i avoid because i dont want to deal with those types of people. but, im learning that it didnt work in the past because sometimes difficult people will be in your life. example, do i avoid going to starbucks because the one barista is an ass? do i avoid my favorite eatery because the one server was rude? i can still get a coffee and if i feel they are being an ass, step and acknowledge it. i cant keep running. i can handle what i can in small steps but avoiding is not working anymore. its leading to me adding to my rage and if not controlled it could be unleashed on the wrong person. but, ive found when i address the issues in the moment, it doesnt stay with me. and i think this leads to me not having to relive my past so much. 



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