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What happened after

AnneRuth

Entry posted by AnneRuth ·

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After everything happened I just laid there and cried trying to get everything out of my head. His face, his voice. I then walked downstairs where my sister was sitting and she has asked if I had finally gotten "laid". She was the girl all the boys fell over and I guess in her mind she was trying to help...? Apparently, he told her that I refused to do anything with him and kicked him out, which he had said to cover the rape. I was so scared of him and the embarrassment that I just went along with it. Ever since I moved I haven't talked to my sister, I have no idea what I would say. I am slowly working up the courage to go to the police, I just feel like I need to heal myself before I can talk to anybody about what happened. My boyfriend suspects something and is really worried. I just cannot tell him the truth, and I feel horrible, I am just not ready. He is becoming very very distant and I found him sexually messaging other girls and that he masturbates to their photos. I don't think he gets how that makes me feel, I feel unwanted and ugly. Just when I think I am beautiful and love myself. The person I love the most in this life pushes me back a view steps. I don't now what to do, should I break up with him..? I already tried talking ot him and it never works. Please, I need advice, I can't keep living stuck in this depression.

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GaleH

If he doesnt want tontalk to you that is a huge sign younare in trouble. He doesnt want to hear your voice. Your voice is the most important thing.

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AnneRuth

@GaleH Like what should I do..? He is my very fist boyfriend and we have been together for almost a year. I feel like I shouldn't give him up so easily but yet I am just so tired of fighting for him. I want him to fight for me for once.

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GaleH
4 hours ago, AnneRuth said:

@GaleH Like what should I do..? He is my very fist boyfriend and we have been together for almost a year. I feel like I shouldn't give him up so easily but yet I am just so tired of fighting for him. I want him to fight for me for once.

I think you should break up with himnto show him you wont put up with people treating you like that. And put up that boundary.

Once he realises you are gone for a bit, i bet he will be willing to talk. 

But you are probably betrer off without him

Edited by GaleH
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AnneRuth
5 hours ago, GaleH said:

I think you should break up with himnto show him you wont put up with people treating you like that. And put up that boundary.

Once he realises you are gone for a bit, i bet he will be willing to talk. 

But you are probably betrer off without him

Yeah, I feel like I want to but I don't have the strength. I just found out tonight that he had lied to me about how many girls he has been with and it hurts so incredibly much. It is clear to me what I should do, it just feels so hard to get up the strength to leave. I live with him, so it would be a huge step and a lot of work.

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