After everything happened I just laid there and cried trying to get everything out of my head. His face, his voice. I then walked downstairs where my sister was sitting and she has asked if I had finally gotten "laid". She was the girl all the boys fell over and I guess in her mind she was trying to help...? Apparently, he told her that I refused to do anything with him and kicked him out, which he had said to cover the rape. I was so scared of him and the embarrassment that I just went along with it. Ever since I moved I haven't talked to my sister, I have no idea what I would say. I am slowly working up the courage to go to the police, I just feel like I need to heal myself before I can talk to anybody about what happened. My boyfriend suspects something and is really worried. I just cannot tell him the truth, and I feel horrible, I am just not ready. He is becoming very very distant and I found him sexually messaging other girls and that he masturbates to their photos. I don't think he gets how that makes me feel, I feel unwanted and ugly. Just when I think I am beautiful and love myself. The person I love the most in this life pushes me back a view steps. I don't now what to do, should I break up with him..? I already tried talking ot him and it never works. Please, I need advice, I can't keep living stuck in this depression.