Yesterday I read this section in a healing book and I really loved it. Maybe someone else here can benefit from it so I took the time to type it of.
How to change:
- Become aware of the behavior you want to change. Is there something you're doing that isn't good for you? Are you staying in a bad relationship? Are you drinking too much? Are you blowing up at people you love? Are you helping everyone but yourself?
- Look at the reasons you developed that behavior in the first place. When did you first feel that way? Why?
- Have compassion for what you've done in the past. Even if you didn't make the best choices, you did the best you could do at that time. And now you can make better choices. Focus on that.
- Find new ways to meet your needs. When you learn to fulfill your needs in new ways, it will be easier to let go of your old behavior.
- Get support. The people around you affect your ability to change. People who are working to grow in their lives will support your efforts to change.
- Name your fears. It's scary to change. We usually give up something in order to make room for something new. Looking at why you're scared can lessen the power of your fears.
- Fear doesn't have to stop you. Everyone feels scared when they change, even if it's a change for the better. If you're scared, you can act anyway.
- Old habits don't change easily. When you try to change an old habit, it sometimes seems to get worse. Don't give up at this critical point. The "I can't stand it anymore" feeling often means you're close to the change you've been wanting to make.
- Make several tries. Making changes is usually a slow, trial-and-error process. Yet each little step forward leads to real change and a better life.
- Keep trying. Don't give up. Most of the changes we make in life require repetition. If not smoking one cigarette were enough, it wouldn't be so hard to quit smoking.
- Be gentle with yourself. Be patient. Forgive yourself when you go back to old behavior you're trying to change. Don't punish yourself.
- Give yourself credit. Take time to feel proud of yourself when you have success. Don't just run to the next mountain.
- Celebrate. Treat yourself well when you have a victory.