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Am I Enough?



As I lay here waiting on sleep to find me, that question comes to mind. Am I enough? Am I sufficient as I am to be acceptable as a friend, daughter, sister? Am I enough as a co-worker? 

My short answer is no. The longer answer is I feel seriously flawed. I dont feel like I am alone in that but it still exists. There are skills I never picked up. I never learned it. I never had a chance to apply it. I never learned to be a friend. To understand what that even means. I dont think it means I am a yes-man but it also cant be always being defensive. I hear it involves some form of love or caring a grat deal. It involves understanding emotions. Being able to understand them and the affects it has on others. 

I didnt learn to experience life. To see a fear and approach it. To face it. To relenquish its control of me. To look at a crowd not as a mob waiting to pounce but a world yet to be opened. To not fear everyone is dissecting me from the hair on my head to my toes.

How do I improve that? Being vulnerable is a huge fear and task. It's not something that will happen quickly. How do I overcome those setbacks? They only reinforce the need to not be vulnerable.

I kmow I should be enough but I am not certain I ever will be. I am not certain that 'enough' really exists.


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