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I have been contemplating reinstating my journaling. It was helpful to calm my mind at night so I can rest. Because of nosey family, a handwritten journal (which I love) is not an option. Then I saw this. Worried at first. It means my thoughts are seen by strangers who can respond. I had to realize the benefits outweigh the negatives.

I am hoping to do this daily, good and bad. I am hoping I can look back and see actual progress one day. I am hoping to find a voice for those things I cant most days. 

I joined this site to try to find peace with my past and my actions during a difficult childhood. More than 30 years of pain silenced and building up. Years holding on to a secret that I am not prepared to release to those in my life.

So we will see how this goes. Lord, give me strength to keep this up. 

Day 1

It's been a calm day mostly. My nephew and his girlfriend have broken up...gain. this tome he seems to be gaining a backbone. I like her but I find her a manipulator. Maybe he is realizing this now. I say good for him.

I have been able to curb most thoughts today with a movie or crocheting. Someone gave me the idea to crochet for newborns and donate to the hospitals. So I am going to try and see how it goes. Lol I am slow so it will take me months. Good thing  babies are born daily. 

There is the joy of work in the morning. I love my job. It challenges me daily. My boss and other supervisors are amazing. I manage about 30 people. Some days ot os like a day care full of 5 yr olds. Other days they amaze me as well. I only hope I am showing them as well as someone showed me. Monday is my most stressful work day and it can set the pace for the rest of my week. 

Sunset will be the bigger issue. Thats when the anxiety goes in overdrive. The thoughts then multiply like cells. Every thought leads to 2 other thoughts. That will be the issue.

Maybe I should do this then. When I am in the midst. When I am on the verge of tears and in need of a listening ear. 

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If it's what you need and it helps you, do it. I've tried writing down on a journal but it's easier for me to type it down. If you need someone to listen I'm here 🙂

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