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Daily journal day 1: the start of a terrible journal......



( I wrote this yesterday) Last week when I went to see my councilor mom was pissed off and flipping out about stuff I can't control, and saying things like how she's gonna leave " all you guys " because she's " sick of this shit ". It's all stuff that has to do with her husband. A man i refuse to acknowledge as my stepfather.

So basically while I'm about to go see some guy about my mental health issues my moms attacking me unprovoked. The next day was even worse and the day before also sucked. So I wonder..... Just how often is this happening in my life where I'm having a terrible day and I didn't even do anything wrong? 
Morning: Well today's not one of those days where I didn't do something wrong. Already hit myself. Lack of sleep pissing me off. Woke up my brother in the process which makes me an asshole. Sorry bro.
3;46 PM: my grandmother just got home yesterday after spending a month in either a hospital or the nursing home. A nurse came by to talk with my mom about Grammy's care plan. Mom has already had to tell her husband at least a couple of times to stop smoking in the house now that Grammy is home. Right now they are BOTH smoking cigarettes in their room with the door closed. Way to stand firm mom.... Been playing minecraft with a bunch of kids. At least they are respectful, but damn it's so annoying that anyone my age has already played the game to the point it's not fun anymore. I only recently got minecraft/Xbox Live.....
5:22: and now moms flipping out after calling the bank and finding out her husband stole money from her AGAIN..... She just left and said she's not coming back tonight. Wonderful. That's not added stress. Nope. Just like everyone keeps telling me it's not my problem so stay out of it..... *sigh*...... 
12:11 AM: well that was an uneventful/stressful day as always. Mom actually didn't leave for long, which is exactly what I expected. She's sleeping in the same bed as the man she's going to scream at again tomorrow for the shit that happened today. It's a good thing I grew up this way. If this was something new and I wasn't use to it I'd have already beaten the piss out of that good for nothing husband of hers.
( today's entry ) 6:33 PM:  today wasn't so bad which I guess is why I haven't wrote much today. A family friend stopped by with his dog. He played with my sisters dog and that was cool. Mom and her husband have been quietly arguing up until a couple hours ago. They seem to be quiet for now. I've been making ridiculous houses in other people's worlds in minecraft. Made two so far, and one of the kids actually helped ( minecraft has nothing but kids these days. I literally have to tell them I'm an adult and I'm not trying to hang out with a bunch of kids, if they are respectful I'll friend them and they can hang out in my world ). I don't expect the night to change much. This is normally when it's quiet. My brother went to the game store with my uncle so I'm here by myself trying to start a blog. I couldn't figure out how to do it on Pandys and then when I came here I had to use an ass backwards method to find it. If I hadn't made an entry in the past I wouldn't have had anything to search for. I hope I can find this more easily in the future. I don't want to make a depressing journal about my dysfunctional family on a regular writing site. Thank you AfterSilence for being my safe haven to start this journal. Now I just need to keep writing in it even though I know it's gonna suck sometimes.
Mom did say something today that upset me and it was hard to make it look like I wasn't phased by it. I wanted to just yell at her but instead i had no response at all. Basically she's doing nothing about the nursing home and how my grandfather died and the lack of treatment or attentiveness when he was injured. Tomorrow I'm hunting down an online lawyer myself. It's been long enough and all they've done is call an ex judge who already failed them once. My parents are morons and my family sucks.

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I support you, SociallyAwkward. I have been way too self-involved lately but I just wanted to stop in and read your entries and let you know that. You matter.


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