This is my first blog posting this website, and i'll start by saying I've never really been able to come to terms with what has happened to me, no matter how long ago it was. It was almost two years ago in the summer of 2015. It's crazy that I don't even know where to begin because I was in such a tangled mess; lots of alcoholism at home and parents losing good jobs due to unlucky situations. I want to make it clear that I had a great childhood, great friends, and I've gone to a private school all my life. But that's the scary thing; these people who don't care whether you can defend yourself or not lurk behind upstanding morals and "hardworking ethics." One summer night after a long road of just being with the same horrible person, I had made the choice to drink until I couldn't be bothered with my emotions. The alcohol (vodka) made me happy, dance, wild, and less angry (or so I thought.) I can't even remember how much I drank. I can't even remember if I drank with a chaser or not. I arrived to the party in a hotel and at this point even thinking about anything further makes me anxious. Long story short, I was grabbed by the first love of my life after six months of just sex, losing my virginity, I was done. But that's besides the point, reader. I was soon taken into the master bedroom which was guarded by his instructed fellow football players and locked from the inside. There, they took turns with me...hurt me...bit me... just so horrible. Then I walked out of the room with my friends crying screaming because they just knew I was in trouble. Shortly after, another guy pulled me into the room, did the same thing, and had his friends come in and film it. I don't remember anything, all I know is that the moment that happened, this turned into a child pornography case.