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teleahstears

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teleah

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Victim, was my moms favorite word for me, her greatest wish was for me to stop playing the victim in my life story, if i could just be a victor, i would drive, have a job, lose weight. get published if only i could see myself as a victor, she would be proud. Worthless was another favorite word for me, i was worthless because i never saw my potential. i was worthless because i did not drive, have a job, lose weight. Burden was another favorite word for me, my seizures were a burden to her, my clothes, my shoes, my soap, my braces, my schooling, all were a huge burden to her, These are the words i fight in mu head everyday and tonight they are booming after asking my stepdad for part of my inheritance, which he has offered me in the past but i am still fighting those words my mom used to describe me and tonight my biggest fear she was right.

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Thank you (((((((child)))))), Twice I have had nightmares about my mom, not used of her being the one who haunts me, today her words are loud because i am feeling so sad and exhausted, her calling me a victim is the word i am fighting today, teleah

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I am sorry that you have had nightmares about your mom. giving you comfort and safe hugs if ok. hand you a teddy if that is ok

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