So, I'm at a place of limbo. Its been 20 years since my sexual abuse. I've been in and out of therapy, I've tried talking with so-called family members, my wife. I won't say that talking with my wife hasn't been helpful, but I'm stuck. I've been through so many ups and downs, more downs but through it all I've tried to be as positive as I can be. I've been very afraid of doing thing like group therapy, which is sort of how I view this site. Afraid I would read other stories and get trapped in my past memories again. How would I view my past compared to others? Is my trauma any less than others? Why do I even need to compare it to anyone? There are so many things running through my head, my heart, burned on my soul. I'm trying to balance the emotions I'm feeling now with the emotions from my past. Those moments when I feel like that young girl again is circling my mind with the fighter I've become.
So, slowly I will try to comfort the girl who was hurt by expressing her emotions, rebuild and evolve into the person I want to be. Here's to my future.