My Story
Entry posted by Science-Geek ·
1,135 views
Welcome 2017!
Hasn't 2016 been one of the worst years that the world has witnessed. Unfortunate deaths, brexit and the new president being a business man with immoral views...
Well I am blogging to discuss 2016 nor too much of 2017 (yet!), I want to discuss the issues I experienced in 2015 which unfortunately carried over into 2016.
In 2015, I was sexually assaulted, something no one likes to discuss or admit. The man was in a profession of trust and took advantage of me while I was the age of 20. I was scared, frightened and completely afraid, to say the least. I knew it was wrong, I couldn't do anything while he was doing what he wanted to do, so I closed my eyes and waited for him to finish. There was not much I could do while the door was shut and locked! No one was in the place, so my screams would not be heard, and if I did scream what would he have done? Hit me? Rape me? Kill me? I could not take that risk.
Once he finished, he smiled - what a slimy and pathetic excuse of a man! He is a married man with children! What must his children be like, if they are raised by a man like him?! I ran out of the clinic. I drove home and showered. I hated my skin, my body and my thoughts. I cried (something I do not do much - so I knew I was upset). I was disgusted! How could I tell my parents? What would my friends think? Should I report this?
All these questions went through my head over and over and over again. I went to work - maybe that would take my mind off things. It didn't. Every male which approached me, I was too scared to talk. I became speechless towards customers, I could not keep this up.
Before leaving work early, I contacted my mother. We are close and she knows me more than I know myself. I told her I had been sexually assaulted. She was disgusted in the man who had done this. She advised me reporting it to the police and to get home as soon as possible.
So I reported it to the police - well my relative made the first phone call. The police arrived at the house and asked a million questions - well enough for me to believe it was 1 million. Three hours after talking about the horrible situation, I was allowed to stop and just go to bed. The last question the police asked was whether or not I would want to take this matter to court, I agreed. My mother reminds me that I looked grey in colour, there was no colour in my face and she could see I was upset.
After days of being all over the place - figure of speech. I was in regular contact with the police. They seems to believe me. Anyone who has been sexually assaulted will understand that the first thing anyone tries to prove, is their innocence. What a life? Prove innocence? It is your life story, therefore surely you are telling the truth? Who would lie about sexual assault?
Fast forward a few weeks/months, I was completing my final year at University. My degree in science, my love for the subject. How was I to do well? Was I to pass? What if I do not pass? Then what?
I revised my arse off! I had to! I was my distraction. I did not think of that man, that clinic, that "experience" when my heads were in my revision notes and books.
Exams were hard, but I got through them. One of my final exams was one of the easiest exams I have ever done! Why you ask? Because every question I knew the answer to, beauty of revision!
i graduated with a First Class degree, congratulations to me! How you ask?! I do not know either. During my ceremony, I was contacted by the CPS/Police telling me the day of the court case. Why? Why on my graduation? They knew it was my graduation! I snapped on the phone stating that the one day I didn't want to be contacted was the day of my graduation, and surprise surprise, when do they contact?!!
Fast forward to court case. Lets bullet point this...
- THE
- WORST
- DAY
- OF
- MY
- LIFE.
I hated it. The barristers were horrible. I could not face that disgusting excuse of a human being. I was hidden behind a screen. I tried my best to get through all the questions. The barrister made out I was a liar, a w**re, a cheapskate, a student who just wanted a good result. You get the point...
Verdict: NOT GUILTY.
The worst feeling in the world on that day. I was a wreck. I had a river of tears throughout the phone calls from both police and CPS. Why was he found not guilty? Was it because of my age? Was it because I applied for extenuating circumstances to act as a "safety net" in case I did not do too well? Was it because I was did not cry on the stand?
Do you notice, all the thoughts are because of ME. Not because he played the "court case" like a game. He got two witnesses to lie under oath. Oh, how the one witness makes my blood boil.
The witness was a colleague of his. She and I had spoken two weeks before the assault. She was from South Asia, and me being an Indian girl born in the UK, she felt the need to ask me questions. What questions you ask?
- "Are you born in the UK?" Common question every asian asks! Yes bit*h of course I am, hence why I do not have an accent and can hold a conversation with people using more than 10 words! "Yes I am".
- "Are you married?" Another question that every asian will ask. "No I am not." you stupid bit*h, I am 20 years of age, why would I want to get married off, just because you did!
- "Oh you must not have any children then?!" Well done you moron, because our culture believes in sex after marriage and having children once married, you put your two brain cells together to assume I do not have any children. "No I do not have any children".
However, in court, she claimed I asked her all these questions but about the man in questioning. What a compulsive liar, idiotic bit*h, pathetic excuse of a woman. How could she? How much must he have paid her? £1k? £5k? She is cheap, probably just £100.
I went into depression. I hated myself. I hated what I had experienced. I hated that the person whom was the most disgraceful person I had ever encountered would still be able to practice. Would he do the same again? Would he think twice before doing anything? I doubt he would think before re-assaulting. Of course he would. Not everyone will speak up.
He has a type. A quiet, Asian girl. Asians do not disclose these things. We do not talk about sex, rape, assault... Why would we? It makes the victim look like a w**re. It makes the victim look easy! It makes the victim feel that no one would want her.
However, WHY SHOULD IT BE THE VICTIM'S FAULT?!
He is a grown man, with a "attractive" wife (I never saw her at court, so I cannot possibly comment), and two children (I think that is what the court said?). He is scum, a bastard, a waste of human air! It should be him that people bit*h about, not the victim.
I am not afraid of him, he knows that one more person he assaults will send him to prison.
I follow the Facebook page of the clinic from time to time, and I notice that there is a new manager in charge. She has a doctorate. he did not. She will potentially stop him from doing such things. maybe she fired him? Who knows and who cares!?!
I want to address this blog to all those who have suffered in silence.
YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME, YOUR ATTACKER IS.
You are a strong individual. You will be confident and a bright future. This experience will not own you, it will not define you. you define yourself.
And if ever, you did a helping hand, know that there is help out there.
COUNSELLING. The best thing I ever did and continue to do.
It helps me!
And remember, KARMA is a wonderful thing 
Do not let a year/experience/person define you! I had a few knock backs in 2015 and 2016 and I am still doing what I love, science.
Let 2017 be your year!
And Karma, please work of that horrible, horrible scumbag who thinks he is superior because he paid £10,000 a day for a barrister to help him "win" his case.
All the best in the new year
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