I've never been ashamed. If that isn't usual, it's because I'm unusual. Very strange indeed. But lately, all I feel is shame. Four years later, I feel shame. And I don't know why. Another strange thing is little things remind me of good times prior to all of that nastiness. When we were friends and not dating, teasing each other relentlessly. Or when we first started dating and he and I would listen to music all the time, doing nothing else but listen to music. Just small things like that which pop in my mind and won't go away. I remember the good times with a taint, and I don't want to remember any of it. Does anyone else get those memories forced upon them? Not of what happened but the 'good times'. I feel shame remembering the times we were happy before I lost it all.