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I feel like it's all my fault



I felt like the worst person in the world yesterday. I went with my boyfriend and his sister to the city (Chicago) and as we were driving I started getting paranoid. Whenever I go to someplace new or someplace where I know there will be a lot of people I start to look around. I try to see every single person so I am aware of my surroundings which is good but I also make sure the guy that SA me isn't there. If he was there I would just go home because I don't like to see him or be anywhere near him. Luckily he wasn't there but I was having a little freak out session in the back seat by myself. It was the worst thing ever. 

I've thought about talking to my T about this because I'm tires of having bad days and being anxious going anywhere. I don't like to eat in restaurants because I don't want to run into him. I also like to sit in a place where I know no one can get behind me because I don't want someone to have the ability to grab me from behind. I'm very paranoid about seeing him and I don't get why my mind just can't forget what happened to me. What do you guys do? Are you on medication? Do you go to a therapist?


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