So I want to give anyone who has decided to read my blog a little insight on what happened to me and the after effects that I faced because of my sexual harassment. When I was 15 years old I went to a school dance. I had a "friend" who came up to me and asked me if he could join my group and I said yes because we all went stag and I figured he could join us since his date ditched him. So as the dance started to happen he kept trying to undress and I told him he needed to keep his clothes on. As the night went on I told him I did not want to grind and yet he kept grinding on me. I told him to stop touching my butt and yet he kept grabbing my butt. If I wanted to sit down I had to sit in his lap and he would pull me from the chair to his lap. Before I left for the night he asked me to kiss him and I said no. He then took my phone and stuck it in his pants and told me that I either had to kiss him or reach into his pants and get his phone out. I did not want to reach my phone into his pants and I did not want to kiss him. I asked him to give me my phone back but he still refused and he ended up kissing me. But he told me I had to give him a proper kiss (which at the time I did not really know what a proper kiss was). I went home and tried to forget about it. I tried to forget about the night and everything that had happened. I eventually started having flashbacks. I could not go to my school's gym without the thought of everything that had happened there going through my mind. After the incident, I saw him and he asked for a hug. I then told him to stay away from me and to never come near me again. I have thought about what could I have done differently. How I could have stopped it from happening. I could not be touched for almost six months after the incident and sometimes even now almost two years later if I am having a bad day I can not be touched. I have only told two people about what happened. One was a close friend and the other one is my boyfriend. I struggle with telling people when I am having a bad day because I have not told my parents and it's hard to talk about. I have been wanting to tell my therapist but I have been afraid of what she may have to do (tell my parents or get the police involved). I have looked into different ways of coping with it but none of them have really worked. I do not know exactly what my triggers are or how to stop them from coming.
I hope that if any of you have anything that I could try I would appreciate it. I will also try and post some of the coping skills I have tried in future posts. I hope all of you have a fabulous day.