Some things that make me anxious: social settings, clubs/bars/parties, people being mad at me or a change in their mood (I automatically assume they are mad at me), A change in my "Routine"/schedule, sleeping other places that is not my bed, Other people or animals (Anything that breathes) sleeping in my room. (I don't like hearing other people breathing when I am trying to sleep, I end up tossing and turning and not sleeping at all. Being anywhere alone (other then my room). I even get anxious being alone in the house by myself. And the biggest thing which is basically anything where I feel trapped. I need to know if I go to someones house or anywhere, I have my own way back and that I can leave when I want to. I have a problem with control. Like I need to have control and if I don't I just have a panic attack.
I have PTSD..... What does that even mean! Well I know what it means but most people don't know what PTSD is, and quite frankly sometimes I am still trying to figure it out myself. I have flashbacks, trust issues, HORRIBLE ANXIETY, sleeping problems, fear, frequently feel guilt, etc. list goes on.
I wrote a whole long blog but deleted it.... This is all I have to say......
I have ANXIETY & PTSD.... That doesn't mean you can abuse my anxieties to get what you want. It's time I do something for myself, and maybe one day you will love me just enough to understand I am not saying "NO" to be a bit*h, I am saying "NO" because I deserve to be happy.