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It's Been A Long Time....



It's been a really long time since I wrote here.....so much is going on in my life. It's been good, bad and I don't know. For the first time in my life.....I'm not sure I want to continue to do my job. I'm a substitute teacher and the kids are getting worse every year. I'm done with their bad manners and their lack of effort. I work almost the entire year. I rarely have a day off unless it's for a holiday. I really care about the kids but it's getting harder and harder to care. I get really bad pay and no benefits. Obviously, I don't do it for the money or benefits. =)

My German friend has a girlfriend and I feel like a mistress or something not good. I wish that he loved me but he doesn't. He confuses me. He wants to help me get a job near him but says that I can't stay with him because of his girlfriend. I get that but then why try to get me there?? 

So that's a bit of my weird life in a nutshell.


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hi IM 

i wish the person who loved me did but he doesn't and i got rid of him finally. i deserve better. i dont like your german friend's behavior. im not sure what he is after either, i have little experience with men. 

i admire you for working with the kids but can understand the frustration. i admire you, period.


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Thanks it's just confusing....I wish life was easier. The problem is that I'm addicted to him. I put up with it because I feel something for him. I don't know what it is because I don't believe in love.

Thanks, I miss talking to you =)

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I know how you feel. Your tried of being there for people when no one is there for you. Don't wait till you get sick from doing your job. Don't be friends with this guy or anybody just because you have no one else. I've had to learn this the hard way. YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON in your life. I am in a very bad place right now. But there is no body in my circle that I let be around taking from me. Take the steps to get happy or at least at peace relaxed life. All the money or relationships in the world are not worth it. giving your self peace & happiness is what we all deserve in life. The everyday small stuff really do count when you are all stress out. Good Luck VG 

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Thank you for the support....I'm just thinking of being done and now I'm struggling to see what I really want to do and be in life. I just met a guy the other night. We hit it off but he's married. Never thought I'd be this person but I'm not sure what I want.

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