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I feel like a fraud


MyselfAndI

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Sometimes I feel like I made the whole thing up.  I think this is partly because I don't want to believe this happened to me and partly because no one believed me, or if they did they didn't seem to care.   It wasn't a "violent" rape, it's as di*k head Robin Thick says a matter of "blurred lines."  But now I know the lines were clear.  I said no to multiple advances, to the point where my friends were telling him to leave me alone.  All night he wanted me to drink more, and when I thought he was leaving me alone, he was really waiting for me to be drunk enough to not realize where I was.  

After writing my story in detail, I realized how real my experience is.  It saddens me that so many beautiful girls, women, and men will be victims of rape and not even let themselves believe it.  Believe there is a real reason why they feel violated, lost, empty, depressed.  I wish I could tell them I believe them.  Because despite what the media says, nearly all reported cases of sexual assault are real.  So can we please begin supporting victims.  Can we please tell them their feelings, their memories, and their lives are legitimate.  

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Your post resonates with me so much. how your feeling I feel the same way. I was not under the influence but I did said no. I do not fully remember saying it more than twice but I said it in different ways that I was not interested. There are blurred lines in what is considered rape and sexual assault unfortanetely because people in our society don't talk about it. After my experience I felt violated and forced against my will. I did not put up a fight however I did not know what to do during that time. Sometimes I think that what I went through is not serious and that I am over reacting but after I recorded myself tell the story again I realized that I am not over reacting or crazy, what happened to me I felt that I was violated and after it has ruined my life completely. Once I told some people about my experience many stated that I am over reacting and many think that I am doing it to seek attention or revenge.it sickens and saddens me the ignorance of some people and how they can just assume that the victim is lying. I wish people can respond to this in some kind of compassion regardless on how they feel about the situation because what you and I went through is real. Don't feel alone if you ever do because I am on the same path.

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