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My story



*Trigger Warning*

I'm going to keep this pretty short. I don't want to talk too much about it yet, but would like to get some of it off my chest.

I was sexually assaulted by my older brother's friend. When he stopped by our house, while my brother was preoccupied with making them food or setting up games - anything where this friend of his had a few extra minutes free - he'd come into my room and force me to make out with him. He would touch me inappropriately and force his body on mine so I couldn't move much. 

I thought that would be the end of it, I didn't think he could ever take things any farther, and this went on for months whenever he came over. 

One night when he spent the night at our house, after I had already fallen asleep and my brother and the rest of the house was sleeping - he came into my room. I woke up confused - still hazy from sleep - to find he was already inside me. Scared and frozen, I didn't do anything. I didn't want to react, fearful of what would happen if I did. He was a good 80 pounds heavier than me (very large framed and tall). So I kept quiet, stayed still, and silently cried.

There's more to the story, but as I am already feeling sick typing this, I'm going to cut it short. Maybe some day I will feel better talking about it and letting it out. Happy I could get what I said off my chest though, I do feel better knowing I'm not alone and have support.


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I'm so sorry to read this. It's good to get it out of you. Write and talk as much as you can. Secrets very quickly become demons. It's amazing how talking takes the power away from it somehow. I wish you much luck in your healing.

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Thank you, it's nice to know the people here care. It's difficult to talk about what happened after the end of the story above because it felt even more humiliating and degrading and when I think of telling the rest of my story it makes me feel embarrassed/ashamed. I'm sure I'll work up the courage to get it all out though. I just need to take it one day at a time.

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Please try not to blame yourself for anything.  This was not your fault. He is a predator and did not show you respect. I am sorry for what you went through. 

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