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therapy today



After walking in the freezing cold, wearing a panda hat, i made it to therapy, cold but proud i made it there after last night, Last night things got super dark, i let my daughter sleep over on a school night so i could be alone, but honestly i lost my courage and i told my t that and i expected some help, maybe some rational thoughts to replace the irrational ones that are there since mom's passing last week, but instead we discussed why i didnt, which is my three cats, my daughter, my husband, then she changed the subject and i felt she did not hear me, hear the pain, or want to hear the pain, Walking out she said see ya soon, not telling me when so i am thinking of not going back, right now i need to be wanted to be seen, it might help me from feeling so alone since her passing, walking home i felt worse not better and even more alone, so not sure if i should go back, not sure of anything but therapy today was not good


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That really sux. I dont understand how Ts can sometimes just not seem to care. Mine is amazingly awesome and has saved my life many times just by listening. If you can find one like mine you will be set. Its really not fair when the people we lean on refuse to hold us up, the fall feels longer every time.

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Thanks for responding boop, i keep going to her and sometimes she helps but not since mom passed and it has been a month, i really need her to help me replace the irrational thoughts in my head and help me cope with moms passing but now we are going to start self compassion treatment so not sure where i stand now, teleah

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You are just going to have to tell her outright what you want, what you need, what you exoect,  if you can't tell write it down, no good keep going and feeling let down each time.  If she just doesn't see it she has to be told. Not much good moving on to something else when you mind is elsewhere, worse than useless.  :bighug:   Sorry this comes across as aggresive, just angry. a lot of the time atm.. 

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((((reglois))))) i keep trying but i have lost my voice in my recent mourning for my mom and the fight to get my daughter to graduate next year, lost my voice in pleading hubby to come home just so i have back up until the memorial in april, lost my voice in my exhaustion but i will try and i do so appreciate you taking the time to read and respond to my blog, sending you peace and calm to help with your anger, thank you for listening and your support, love teleah

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