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First Time

sjp124532

Entry posted by sjp124532 ·

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I am not sure what to expect from this. My path of healing did not start until I became an advocate myself... Working with individuals with immense and heartbreaking traumas. It was through my experience of doing the work that I came to the realization that what happened to me was sexual assault. I struggle with giving myself permission to feel upset about what happened to me although it hurt me very much.

My journey to heal is indeed a winding path that I am just beginning to navigate. It started with a crisis chat online with an advocate from RAINN. I wasn't sure what to do with all of this information and pictures in my head. I thought I didn't deserve to heal or I didn't deserve to be called a survivor because I've heard so many more stories that are more tragic than my own.

I still get lost in some of those ideas. I'm going to try this and see if it answers some of my own healing questions.

So here goes my first time...

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lcacejk

I commend you on your willingness to search for healing. Being and advocate often puts us in positions of experiencing that trauma again and again. A healthy support system and skills base will benefit you and those your serve. Wishing you peace and comfort.

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sjp124532

Thank you so much.

I commend you on your willingness to search for healing. Being and advocate often puts us in positions of experiencing that trauma again and again. A healthy support system and skills base will benefit you and those your serve. Wishing you peace and comfort.

Your words are greatly appreciated.

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bjladams

This is my first time on this site. I have been dealing with my own healing. I was molested as a child and have been through counseling and therapy but it seems that as you go into new phases of your life, the abuse creeps back in and needs to be dealt with again. I appreciate what you shared because I have thought some of those same thoughts. I feel like my abuse wasn't that bad that and I should be able to get over it. And I know in some ways, I am over it and have dealt with it. But still....you feel guilty.

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sjp124532

bjladams: I completely agree. I'm glad you found some meaning in my words. I think I have a HUGE guilt complex and that maybe that comes from experiences of shame in my life whether they were sexual assault or others... I think this feeds into feeling guilty about feeling bad about what has happened.

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lcacejk

You do not deserve less consideration, understanding and caring because your situation may APPEAR to you as not as bad. You suffered and are struggling and that is all that matters. Any offense against your person and your trust is still abuse and traumatic. You deserve compassion because you are a survivor.

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