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daily life

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01/11

I'm not sure I have much to say about anything today - it's like the calm after the storm. I've been holding on to so much anger re the uni for so many weeks, and now it's all virtually sorted (albeit not that satisfactorily) and so i don't really know how to deal with all my left over feeling of bitterness and anger. I just feel like I have to move forward and forget about it, and yet burying it will not be helpful to me. What weather would I be today? Hmmm... A calm cloudy temperature day

forestmistheather

forestmistheather

 

31/10 Part 2

Well, at T we did the go old 'CORE' thing (lots of Q's where you answer between 0-5, about feelings mainly) and the 'STAR' exercise (kinda the same again but done in a star format and going up to 10 - more life focussed). That just kinda comfirmed for me what a mess my life is right now, and how badly I'm coping. Lol - mid-typing this and get phoned about some temporary work - ouch my head hurts! So confused right now. I meant it's good - I can eat next week if it comes off. But it means th

forestmistheather

forestmistheather

 

31/10

Heyho, Halloween is here. It's been a weird one already in fact, kinda in a good way though I think - not quite sure what I feel yet as there's so much hurt mixed in. I got the suspension email through from my head of programme, and they have confirmed that they are going to take me to fitness to practise (for health reasons). However, it doesn't look like this is going to happen until just before I'm supposed to return next August (so time to find something else and withdraw). Still feeling

forestmistheather

forestmistheather

 

30/10

Well, so far today I've phoned all the agencies and updated them re my new found ability to do Thursday afternoons, and had a telephone counseling appointment (work counselling). Today I feel, ermm, kinda numb. I am still in bed :-(, but am going to go to the chaplaincy shortly and have a cuppa, right after my lunch. And it's not like I haven't been doing things this morning (or at least that's the excuse I'm using). I'm sure that I had more to do today, but I can't think what. Hmmm... I l

forestmistheather

forestmistheather

 

29/10 - Part 2

Well I've heard back from my counselor, and she's said that she's not able to change my appointment time (am looking for work, and it's causing a problem). But she did say that I could go back on the waiting list if I wanted, so I guess that's what I'll have to do. At least it's sorted, which is one thing. I'm hoping that this will make a different in terms of the number of interviews I'm receiving, and me finally getting a job - so back to calling all the agencies again tomorrow. I feel a l

forestmistheather

forestmistheather

 

29/10

29/10 It's after noon, I'm still in bed and feeling like I want to cry. I know I'm hungry, but I can't quite motivate myself to get up, washed, dressed, go downstairs, face my housemates, think of something I may actually want to eat, make than something, and then return to my room. I've also noticed that there's condensation building up at the base of my windows. No doubt this is due to the fact that I never open my curtains, let alone the windows themselves, but I know I'm gonna have to st

forestmistheather

forestmistheather

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