About this blog
I joined recently after feeling not heard for years. I read another blog entry that said," I used to be so happy and care free now I can't go on a simple date or to the grocery store, I need help". I feel horrified that that person feels the way she does. My story is painful to talk about, I like to continue living life knowing it happened and I can't go back and change it. What would my life be like if I hadn't been taken advantage of. There are days when I ask myself, how can someone be so evil to have done that. I didn't ask for help until recently. I am from a small town and people talk. Professionals say to not care what other people think. When I do that, I am seen as selfish or rude. The events that happened to me shaped me into who I am. Once joining and seeing the endless forums and blogs I realize I'm not the only one and it gives me hope. I feel I've been told to not say anything from people I told. Once talking to a counselor, she said not everyone knows how to react. I wasn't asked what happened to me after. Why? Why wasn't I rescued? I am not homeless, I have loving parents. But, somedays it just seems I am not understood. I want everyone not just my family anyone I meet to shout from the rooftops this terrible human being did this on this night and it was wrong. Then, I feel don't be bitter be better than those people. I read a coping strategy article that said write a letter to your attacker, but do not mail it. I wonder to this day what that person thinks when he lives his life. I will never be the same person I was before. Others say, this will make you stronger. I have never written about my feelings before, and it only makes me want to talk about them. I relive those moments, over and over. I do not want to be silent anymore. The unbearable feeling of knowing he is less than five minutes from my residence makes me uneasy. I am building up strength to report my attacks. I am searching to find others that reported and how it made them feel.