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About this blog

My journaling has migrated from paper to an online forum packed with valued, trusted survivors, where understanding eyeballs might stumble upon my blog and read my extensive ramblings. 

Entries in this blog

Blog

"I Believe You"

How did you feel the first time you were validated? From my own experience and so many others I know, the answer seems to be 'relieved'. Living with a truth you know to be real, all by yourself, can be lonely, tormenting, frustrating and confusing. Then you find a voice, risk using it and someone says, "I believe you". They then offer support you never thought you deserved or were entitled to, they validate your trauma and the aftermath you carry and offer the comfort you've craved for far too l
LisaButterfly

LisaButterfly in Blog

2
Blog

Alpha Males, Retro Kitchens and Time Machines

Triggers: the unwelcome hand that flips the switch on a time machine and forces you back to moments you crave to forget. I never thought I'd fully grasp the meaning of it all until this year when I started putting the puzzle pieces together. Many of my strange foibles and reactions to situations over the last three decades now sit in the 'bigger picture' perfectly when I look at my jigsaw as the final image takes shape, but plenty are still a mystery. Over many years, even through childhood
LisaButterfly

LisaButterfly in Blog

4
Blog

Tactless Numpties, Safety Pins, My Husband's T Shirts and Other Superhero Capes

I woke up this morning with the usual nest of 'bed head' hair plastered across a slightly puffy, 'pillow wrinkle' marked face that hasn't worn make-up for 10 months and had a revelation of sorts - and it relates to the fact that I couldn't give a flying shite that I continue to look like a bit of a mess throughout the day. What others see on the outside has never been a priority to me (or my husband...thankfully), and I certainly don't judge a book by its cover, but comments can hurt, cause
LisaButterfly

LisaButterfly in Blog

1

The Symbolic Haircut of Freedom

"If you cut your long hair you'll lose your strength like Samson in the Bible did!" A nutty leader within the church I was dragged to through my childhood and teens. "The thing I love most about you is your long hair." A very nutty boyfriend. "If you cut your hair short I'll leave you." A boyfriend who turned out to be nuttier than a bucket of muesli. Waking up to find that 'bucket of muesli boyfriend' had plaited my hair to the ironwork of the headboard again made me crave a shor
LisaButterfly

LisaButterfly

6

The Rocky Rollercoaster of Recovery

Rocky... Rollercoaster... Recovery... so many words beginning with 'R', and some are easier to face and say out loud than others.  On the phone this morning, while leaking from my knackered eyeballs like a burst water pipe, I just said a word beginning with 'R' to my GP. I can't believe I actually said it.  He's been our family doctor since I was 10 and has watched me grow, shrink, struggle, adapt, cope, fall apart, mend, break again, come back stronger and then melt into puddles of ne
LisaButterfly

LisaButterfly

4

Tornados, Masks, Trifles, Ghosts and Legal Highs

Emotions are a tornado of unpredictable twists and gusts aren't they, and they're frightening when we've never allowed ourselves to be near them before. As these whirlwinds gather strength, they collect debris that swirls around us and occasionally whacks us round the head as we strive to keep our balance and avoid harm. Then the tornado passes leaving a flattened landscape, and we rebuild, add new, stronger reinforcements to the fresh structures that help us feel safe and wait for the next one.
LisaButterfly

LisaButterfly

2

My first ever blog entry!

I love writing. I love how words fit together like jigsaw pieces; allowing us to express ideas, share poetry, update readers with news, give and receive support, enjoy stories, discover inspirations, write letters, educate ourselves and others... the list goes on and on.  I like journaling. I find it therapeutic when clogged up thoughts spill out onto a page, freeing my brain and leaving space for new ideas and more peaceful moments. Clarity can be found on that page when all the words are
LisaButterfly

LisaButterfly

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