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Brain Dumps

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Normal

You know when you just want so badly to be a normal person, but no matter how hard you fucking try, you can't?  I don't think I'll ever be normal. My relationships will never be normal. My sex life will never be normal. I don't want extraordinary. I just want fucking normal.

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Dear Amy, who knew

Dear Amy,     I don't know why I decided to wait this long to write this (and never send it to you) but here we are. I realize you had a lot going on that year personally, I really do, but you need to know that the way you treated me was not ok. I was the child, you were the adult. Now that I am the same age you were back then, I cannot imagine behaving the way you did towards any child.     I had no one that year--no one. You knew that, and you put YOURSELF in a position to become my

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Nope

This year has really just sucked. This week in particular has really just dumped it on. We are in the US and I know we are one of the last ones to implement changes to combat this virus, but they announced yesterday that our schools will be closed until at least April 14th. This is fine, but our jobs still exist so it's a fun little game we are playing trying to organize everything. It's necessary, I agree with the restrictions and they should probably be tighter, but it's very stressful. It fee

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It's Complicated

So, shock to me, didn't actually discuss any of what I thought we would this week at therapy. She asked about something from the week before and it divulged into a discussion about my father and growing up. He was not physically abusive to me in any way but he's the biggest narcissistic in the world and that was very often emotionally abusive.  We have a much better relationship now than we did before and he's still a jerk sometimes, all the time to my stepmom but they have been married 25 year

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Where'd this Anxiety Come From, Anyway?

A couple weeks ago I started therapy, mostly for anxiety in general that has gotten worse over the last couple years. I haven't discussed this particular event with my therapist yet. I put it on the introduction sheet as an issue I needed to work through. She went through the sheet at the beginning and asked about all the items until she got to that one. She said "is there anything else?" and I said no. I appreciated this at first because I didn't really want to discuss it that day and she can o

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