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About this blog

Sad Insights to a Broken Soul 

I have a really hard time verbalizing all the abuse on all different levels I have received over many years. I have carried alot on my own and the struggle is real. A way I have learnt to cope in a safe space is through writing poetry about my pain and hurt from trauma. I hope to be able to share some of it with other survivors. Maybe one day I will be able to write my stories on here and externalize the burden I carry daily.

Please feel free to leave comments, let me know I'm not alone and your views are welcome to

Entries in this blog

Melz

He raped me once
He raped me twice,
I had to pay the fucking price
He knocked me up
I miss carried
Heavy shit on life
It's what I see
Now Someday
I hope he'll pay.
Karma will get him
I hope my pain goes away

It's not fair
My body used
Then I had the baby blues
That was taken
A few weeks later
More grieving for me
The arsehole u see
He's the one who's walking free

Melz

Masked

Happy front
Hidden tears
Practise from many years
I silence myself
Don't speak unless it's kind
Mum taught me that much
Had the marks belted into me from behind.
She was tough
Deep deep sadness
Never to surface
To many scars unseen
A life time of hurt.
I overcome all things
Many take time
I push on through
Like I've always had to
Strong and alone
Makes the road so dark
I'm still standing
I always find my spark.

Don't judge me
Unless you've been in my shoes
Don't dim my light, it's already nearly out!
I have enough internal and external bruises
More then most have in a lifetime
I am me
I do my best
Don't push me to hard
I need my rest

Melz

I am tired

I am tired
Tired of holding hurt
Tired of holding pain
Some days I think, that I am going insane.

I am tired
Tired of being scared
Tired of being brave
Some days I just want to break down and have that be ok.

I am tired
Tired of power and control
Tired of judgement to
People being ugly to one another
Verbally and unspeakable.
Hidden from view

I am just tired
I just want to rest
I want to live a life
A life at my best

So let me take a break
Let me just be
I just ask for one day
One day to be content and happy

For here I am now
Strong and pushing on
Some days harder then others
But I keep trying my best.
My best to carry on

Here my words
Hear them loud and clear

Life is hard
Life is not always fear
I try real hard to enjoy every day
But just for now
I am tired, tired today.

Melz

A penis

A Bottle

Your fingers to

You think it's your right

To help yourself, through and through 

The word Stop!

The word No!

Ignored as if they were never said

You hurt me alot

Drew blood to

This was just after 

You left your residue

I'm emotionally numb

In shock you could say

Nothing will ever

Take this amount of pain away.

What makes it worse, I write this today

Even though it marks a year

Seems like it was yesterday

Your not the first to break my trust

Over power me with such a demeaning task

 

 

 

Melz

Lights do shine

Darkness does fade

Bad things happen

It's not how we are made.

It hurts so much

No power, no care

I was left, just lying there

Deshevilled and distressed

I don't understand why

This is me now, I am a mess

I want to express my world of pain

But nothing comes, just silence and shame.

I have been wounded in almost every way

Damaged goods, no bright future for me

I can not be fixed, just healed with time

I just wonder, is this body really mine?

What did I do wrong

To be treated this way

Why does this happen

Alot to me!!!

It's not fair

I've had enough

Please just let me be

I am not that tough

I will survive

And move past this one day

One step at a time

I will try

That's all I can say

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