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About this blog

I'm just gonna write blog posts about thoughts that I need to get out into the open but maybe don't know who to go to or how to word them or other stuff like that.  Hopefully this will be a decent way for me to get some of my thoughts out there so I'm not just holding everything in until I burst (like I normally do)

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elaina

Hi all!

I just need to let some stuff off my chest so I can maybe start to focus a little better and not always seem like such a downer. (I don't know if I seem rude to others but I know I've definitely been a lot sassier and more mouthy within these past few weeks)

So life lately has been very hectic, I'm working 30+ hours each week plus 2 online classes which I'm trying to get basically done within the next week or so, so that way I can have at least a few weeks of "relaxing" before my fall semester classes start up again.  I know, working 30 hours and having only 2 classes isn't that much, and it shouldn't be stressing me out to the extent it is (minus the weeks, like this week, that I have 2 tests and a paper and what feels like 10 other things to do) but it is and I don't know if it's because I'm trying to get everything done in a short span of time, trying to go without caffeine, because I don't like going to my job, or what it is, but this week (and the past few for other reasons as well as school and work) has been hectic and it's only my Tuesday today :( 

I feel bad because I keep kinda lashing out on my boyfriend about things I know he's trying to work on and things I've already talked to him about, and he understands where I'm coming from and hasn't gotten too mad at me yet, at least that he's told me about, but I still feel extremely bad about it.  I don't like lashing out at people because I'm stressed, and I know he knows I don't like our current living situation, and it makes it harder because he's gone like half the time in the summer for work, and I know he's trying to understand my side of this, as I am with him, but I just don't know what to do anymore.  Part of me keeps thinking "you should break up with him" but I know that's just the voices in my head talking because other than being inconvenienced and pretty lonely for the weeks he's not here this summer, our relationship is pretty healthy.  We communicate about literally everything, we both understand we both have mental issues so we try not to take things too personally and try to take things slow, and he knows what I've been through and how it's affecting me and everything, so I don't know why my mind keeps going to that thought literally every time something pretty minor happens.

 

I think that's it for now, if you read till this point, thank you and have a great day/night! :)

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