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About this blog

I'm just gonna write blog posts about thoughts that I need to get out into the open but maybe don't know who to go to or how to word them or other stuff like that.  Hopefully this will be a decent way for me to get some of my thoughts out there so I'm not just holding everything in until I burst (like I normally do)

Entries in this blog

 

Counseling Appointment Coming Up

So I have my very first counseling appointment coming up on Thursday morning and let me tell you, I am very scared for what is about to happen.  Getting this appointment has been a roller coaster of emotions, cause they had to put me on a waiting list before I actually got this appointment, and it has been very annoying for me to deal with scheduling it because I have had a very busy month and have literally no time to myself to relax, unless I compromise schoolwork, working, and/or everything e

elaina

elaina

 

Am I Not Good Enough?

So I finally decided to stop pushing off making a counseling appointment yesterday.  I was going to get the free counseling for students they offer for everyone.  Well  I called yesterday and they said I would have to wait until the office manager called me today to sort things out, which I found annoying but I could live with.  Well this morning before my classes, I saw I had a missed call and voicemail from an unknown number.  The message was telling me that they didn't have room for them to t

elaina

elaina

 

A Pretty Big Step

So today I went to a doctors appointment and told her about my SA and the anxiety I've had in the past year and how it's skyrocketed.  I know getting put on meds for it isn't a huge step to some people, but to me it is.  I always told myself I would wait until getting out of school (I'm a senior in college this year) to go get any help for it, so even though I've pushed it off too much and I know I've probably caused more damage than good, this is a huge step for me.  It won't get rid of all of

elaina

elaina

 

Why?

I don't know what to do anymore.  My flashbacks are starting to get really bad again, I feel like I'm always anxious and always having to watch out for predators, even if I'm alone in a locked room.  I know what I've been through and that it's probably always going to cause issues like this, but why do I have to always feel this way whenever I'm alone.  I hate feeling so vulnerable that I can't sleep without having some sort of nightmare.  I hate everything about this.  I didn't ask to be SA'd,

elaina

elaina

 

Too Much Going On

Hi all! I just need to let some stuff off my chest so I can maybe start to focus a little better and not always seem like such a downer. (I don't know if I seem rude to others but I know I've definitely been a lot sassier and more mouthy within these past few weeks) So life lately has been very hectic, I'm working 30+ hours each week plus 2 online classes which I'm trying to get basically done within the next week or so, so that way I can have at least a few weeks of "relaxing" before

elaina

elaina

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