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About this blog

This is a blog of all the emails I have sent my T over the past 10 years. He has been my biggest ally and supporter for 15 years. He believes me and believes in me. He has been a major blessing and has walked with me on this rugged pathway towards healing.

Most were written when I was in a deep, dark place, or when he was on vacation or just updating T on what I posted here. Looking back at them I see areas where I have grown tremendously over the years, some areas maybe not as much. I can see where I survived all the close calls from the edge of the abyss and remember that during future times when the darkness calls again. I have learned darkness is a painful space, but its also a place where things can begin to grow and to appreciate the light more. 

Some of them may make no sense and I will try to clear those parts up as much as I can.

My goal is to be heard and bring hope to those who fight and deal with the trauma of CSA and incest daily. My hope is that whoever reads this will understand the are not alone and reach out to feel the presence of other survivors out there in the same place. A survivor I admire highly, always says "We are stronger together." This is true. Our voices matter loud or soft, or in dark or light.


Entries in this blog

Day 3 - Client Under Siege

I wrote this email July 27, 2008 as a update to my T, who promised to read them while he was on vacation. I lived with my family then and it was pure hell. I had just joined AS, a move that saved my life and gave me a voice. Most of my posts here on AS from back then have been destroyed during the big server crash (es). Some segments of this email is my responses to topics I answered other on but no names will be used.     in so much pain I am hurting so bad, I never hurt so ba



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