It's gotten to the point where I'm so tired of people saying it will be okay and stay strong. I do appreciate the kind words but words can't heal. I always say i wish there was a way to change the past that has completely changed my outlook on things. It has had such an impact on my daily life. I wish there were words that could be said that could make the uneasy feelings disappear. All of these emotions all for simple night that could've been avoided. I do not put blame on myself but I do wish I did things differently. I wish the flashbacks of the night would end bt they won't. The worst part is, he probably never even thinks about the night.