You made me crazy. I’ve always been depressed due to my bipolar. But you sent me beyond that. Blacking our while driving. Having such bad panic attacks that I felt I couldn’t breathe. You gave me PTSD. This past November I couldn’t handle it anymore. I almost ended my life. You almost killed me. My fiancé and best friend had to call the cops on me. I was questioned and handcuffed in my own apartment and taken to the hospital in the back of a police car in the middle of the night. I was admitted to the psych ward against my will for a week. I pretended like I was getting better just to get out of that hell hole. I still want to kill myself some days. The only thing keeping me alive is my family, fiancé, and my beautiful 5 year old daughter. I still don’t think it’s fair that I have to continue living with what you did to me. When do I get to feel the relief of death without the guilt of hurting so many people?
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3 years ago on July 4th was the night my world got turned upside down. My boyfriend was living in South Carolina at the time and he had asked his best friend to look out for me. We went to a 4th of July party and we’re having so much fun. His friend and I left with some other friends and stayed he night at one of our friends houses. I passed out drunk and woke up to my boyfriend at the times best friend having sex with me. I didn’t know what to do so I pretended I was still asleep. I woke up in the morning left and started balling my eyes out. I told my now ex boyfriend what happened. He messaged his best friend after I told him. His best friend told him I wanted it and that it wasn’t his fault. I told my boyfriend he was lying but he told me that he could only forgive me if I admitted my fault. At the time I was weak so after hours of denying it I finally said it was my fault so that he wouldn’t leave me. He “forgave” me yet whenever we would fight he would throw it in my face. Ever since that day I’ve felt so weak for giving in and saying it was my fault that he r*aped me. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to heal from what he did to me.