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About this blog

Random ramblings of a fellow chocolate lover, need I say more?

Entries in this blog

Blogs

You, too? Or no, just me?

Hi, AS Family! I miss journaling.  I really do.  I’m first of all, thankful that there is some downtime at work where I can do some writing.  Today is such a day and I’ve had a few somethings to ponder, lately. I often read posts that leave me nodding my head in agreement or in silent understanding.  Or, of course, feeling as if I could have written these words, myself.  While it’s kinda daunting at times, it’s also one of the many benefits of group healing. How validating it is, to be
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Why am I here?

Happy Halloween, friends!  I hope everyone is satisfying their sweet tooth and staying safe in the process! Will try not to scare anyone with today's blog entry.  It won't be a long one - it serves as a little bit of a double purpose, though.   To clarify - I made an appointment for a 1:1 session with the woman who runs the monthly support group that I have been attending.  At the close of the last meeting, I inquired on potential volunteer opportunities for me, and a possible 1:1 sess
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Wherefore Art Thou, Karma?

Shouldn’t trigger, unless language/the discussion of guilt bothers you.       Today, I spoke to my mother, also known fondly as the ‘Oompa Loompa.’   We were trying to finalize this week’s Thanksgiving plans.  A couple entries ago,  I explained how she is still breast-feeding my 30 year old sister, who just had a baby of her own.   She goes there every day, cooks for her, does the housework, the laundry, et cetera, because apparently my sister doesn’t quite know yet how
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When the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...

Hello, all! A Happy Belated Mother's Day to all of you who are either mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers, aunts, godmothers, fathers pulling double-duty, babysitters, to anyone at all who loves and nurtures a child...be it for a lifetime or simply for a few hours at a time, it matters none...yesterday was all about you guys - and I hope someone took the time to let you know how appreciated you are!  The Son and Daughter got me a beautiful bouquet of flowers as well as a lovely card - the ca
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What's the point?

Hello, friends! Sending my usual apologies for not having updated in a while.  For the first time in several days, I can sincerely say we’re thawed out.  The new boiler is working nicely - we now have heat and hot water in addition to the restoring of our electricity and internet.  The kids went back to school this week; a lot of families in the area didn’t have power for the entire week last week following the winter storm, so the school district had some mercy on us all and closed the sch
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What the heart needs...

Hello, everyone!  TWO blogs in a week????  How unusual.  Or is it?   Well, guess what?   I did it.  I did something I PROBABLY should have done years (and YEARS) ago, and joined a local support group.   Firstly, let me explain something to you all.  I'd always thought about joining a support group.  I've always fallen victim to loneliness - ALWAYS.  Being hearing impaired is only one contributor to this constant feeling of being the outsider and never quite being able to fit in, but it
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WHAT is going through this kid's mind?

Hello! Today, I come to you all humbled, because I have no idea how to handle the Jekyll and Hyde type individual that is my soon-to-be 12 year old daughter.   Last week, she came to me with a smirk on her face saying that there's a boy at school that she's now calling her 'boyfriend.'  At the time, it was 'hush-hush,' meaning she didn't want me to share this information with her father.  It's not information I think needs to be shared right now, so I said nothing to him about this kid
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What happens when you play with rocks?

This will be brief, because this is being typed while I can still move.  Tomorrow, I may be in traction.  Or just very, very sore.  Possibly too sore to go and retrieve the free taco that Taco Bell is offering, while supplies last.  So, if you've got a Taco Bell near you, today, June 13th, is free taco day!  Personally, I like the ones with the Nacho Cheese Dorito shell... I, however, may be in too much pain to get myself to the car. I will start you all off with some good news.  
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Weightless

Today's Wednesday...weigh-in day!  Which means, update day!!!!!!  Yay, aren't we all excited?   (Although I'll try and blog more often about stuff other than my diet woes or kids.) I had a few choice words for the scale this morning, but it will live to see another week.  See, I lost 1.6, which isn't bad considering we (J and I) had our Valentine's Day date on Monday night.  We went to the local Red Lobster - and everything I ordered/ate was counted in my point total.  Lemme tell ya, i
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Was I surprised? Why, yes, indeed...

Hello, friends.  As many of you already know, I spend a good portion of every day just thinking.  You could call it self-meditation I guess, but without the breathing exercises as most of my current thoughts do not warrant 'calming' breaths.  I just find myself sitting silently, staring into space, and just zoning.   This past week has been one of those weeks where a lot of thinking and reflection has been done.  I am now finding that I'm feeling uncertain about some things - if not uncerta
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Warning: Long, bumpy road ahead. Wear comfy sneakers!

Hi, everyone!  #51 in the works.   And it's been less than a week since my last blog entry, so hey, progress already! I'd like to paint a mental picture for you all - may seem a little strange and somewhat comical if I'm successful, but please do bear with me for there is (almost) always a method to my madness as far as thoughts go. First off, I am picturing the New York State Marathon.  I am a native New Yorker and have seen this event both in person as well as on TV.  If you've seen
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Want Some Fries with that Invalidation?

*Trigger warning - this very lengthy post discusses some of my broken up/fragmented memories and behaviors as a child.  No actual CSA details are shared, simply because I can’t remember any.  But some of these memories may be triggersome and I ask you all to please take gentle care while proceeding.        Today, I want to talk about something called validation.  Or the lack of, when it’s otherwise referred to as its counterpart - invalidation.  This is a term known all too w
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Blogs

Update time!

Hi, all!  I just wanted to pass by with a quick (maybe?) update, for I know that I have been extremely neglectful to my blog lately.  I've been around on the site, though - that is unchanging.  Even so, I don't like feeling so disconnected from my blog.  It's always been a place I would come to write things out and process - a place to share things I've had on my mind, a place to gain feedback and support.  I confess that lately, I've not known what to say about anything, so in turn, I've n
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Turbulence ahead - fasten your seat belt!

Hi, all!   I'm not sure what today's blog is going to be primarily about, so we'll call it a smorgasbord.  We'll try a little bit of everything!  It's been a turbulent week (I've been using that word a lot - I feel it best describes a lot of the unexpected emotional twists I've had to endure this past week) and today is only the second day that I haven't felt as if I were on the verge of tears.  I've done a lot of thinking and have been able to put a few things into perspective, so am feeli
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There's decaf...or decaf.

Two years ago, when we moved into our new home, our realtor bought us a Keurig machine - this adorable cherry red contraption - and it's been nothing short of amazing to have - especially when there's a need for a 'quick cup.'    While I still drink coffee, it's mostly the iced variety from Dunkin' with a shot of caramel and cream - my Keurig machine has lately been going WEEKS without brewing - it's usually only used when my mother (Oompa) comes for a visit.  She'd come in and ask for a cup of
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There's been a casualty - my mother's sanity.

Hello from me in isolation - how's everyone doing?  It's the first time I'm blogging whilst in quarantine - you'd think I have all the time in the world, but even I'm having trouble getting used to a routine that I have no choice but to conform to for the time being. We are amid some very hard times, friends.  Very uncertain and very unsettling times.  I've taken several steps back from Facebook and only check my feed once or twice a day - all of the COVID-19 jokes are starting to become an
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There was a reason for this?

As promised, the update on yesterday's family gathering - dual birthday party for my nephew (5) and my niece (1).  I meant to update earlier but a status update seemed more appropriate - admittedly, I was a ball of nerves, and my mother wasn't helping matters any.  There was much to say, much swirling around in my already-busy brain, but I figured, lemme get through the day, first - let me recuperate (with or without Lucy's 5-cent therapy) and THEN I'd write on this. To backtrack, my sister
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The transition begins...363 days to go!

Greetings, everyone!! Hoping you're all having a good weekend - we had a 'backwards' couple days.  To explain, we had our taco dinner on May 4th ('May the fourth be with you') and on Cinco De Mayo today, (May 5th) I am invoking the force (fourth) and we're having chicken for dinner.  If no one cares, I guess I won't either.  I'll just note both 'May days' have been duly observed, one way or another.   Additionally, the state of Pennsylvania is drenched - it's done NOTHING but RAIN most of t
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The tassel is worth the hassle!

Hello friends. I know that I have been somewhat absent for a little while.  My prescence here has declined greatly over the last couple of weeks and for a little while, I was only really responding to PMs and giving posts a quick-read, just to try and keep up.  I sincerely hope that while I've been scarce, that everyone's doing as well as they can be doing.  While I've been thinking of my friends here while keeping busy offline, the reason for my decreased activity is indeed a good one.  
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The results are in...

Okay - so, Saturday was a LONG, exhausting day.   To backtrack - I met Oompa at the Subaru dealership as promised, to meet with the salesman she's been praising for the last week.  He knew I was coming and had wasted no time - he had a new Forester brought out for me to test drive within five minutes of my arrival.   I got in, adjusted all the mirrors and seats and took off.  Drove a couple miles down the street, turned around, and drove back.  I didn't like the overall 'feel' of the F
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The piping hot mess that is me.

I've been quiet for the past week.  I'm sorry, guys.   After my last entry, I've had a lot to think about.  That incredibly annoying voice in my head is back, and even though I'm deaf, I can still hear it.  There's a hamster, that although is cute in a little hairy rodent sort of way, is CONSTANTLY running in his little wheel situated in the middle of my brain...every time the wheel turns, a new question, thought, memory, WHATEVER, is thrown into the fray and is resulting in less of that th
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The light bulb DOES work!

The first time I attempted to get this entry started, I got maybe two words typed out before my very demanding cat jumped up onto the desk, spilling my pencil holder of its contents as well as knocking my (thankfully covered) water bottle as well as other empty soda cans and nail polish bottles over.  I'm telling you - when this boy wants his love and affection, he stops at absolutely nothing and often resorts to destruction! So - here is attempt number two, now that I've banished him to th
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The Interrogation of the Mind

Oh, let me tell you…if my mind were ever called upon as a witness, a mistrial would be declared.    There are more holes in there than in a block of Swiss cheese!   Furthermore, if my mind took the form of a live being, I’d describe it as most resembling a hyperactive dog or cat that spends ninety-five percent of its time running in rapid circles, not necessarily in the same pattern.  Just nonstop, frantic running.   This way?  No, that way!  Nah, wait….THAT way!  Up!  Down? 
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The ideal world...

Hi, all. Visiting this site on a daily basis is a constant reminder of the amount of unjustified pain and suffering that sadly exists around us in today's world.  It's even harder to realize that some of the pain we see and hardships endured are so close to our own.  And let me be clear on this - this isn't to say that it's a bad site.  No, this isn't what I'm saying.  I mean to say that AS is just real, SO very real and the things I read daily are yet another reminder of just how much I un
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The check came late!

I spent most of yesterday pouting. See, on Tuesday, I spent most of the day out...went to visit my brand-new niece, along with my slightly older baby niece and my nephew for a little while when he got home from school.  Of course, Oompa was there as well as my brother-in-law, as the new Daddy is enjoying some paternity leave while they are adjusting to being a family of four.  Anyway, we're currently a dieting family - Oompa of course, is dieting in order to talk herself out of having baria
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