I have read so much on this site and I can feel so much of the pain being expressed by so many of the victims and survivors. It has made me angry and I have a new calm that has come to me making it easier to live with the fact that my rapist will be out of prison in less than a month. I feel nothing, and I am sure that he will find me right where he found me the first time, skating on the path. This time I will be ready and prepared. I will not be a victim any longer with a sad story. I will be ready and this time it will go very differently, this is the only thing that brings me peace and allows me to feel happy and sleep. I know it's wrong to say, but the courts had their chance and now I will have mine. His release from prison will give me the chance to set things right and ensure that he never beats and rapes someone again.
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Nine years ago, I was rollerblading when a stranger beat me until I was unconscious and then raped me. The attack was so violent that I could not identify my attacker, and he threatened to come back and hurt my daughter if I went to the police. I chose not to report, a decision that still haunts me. Over the next year he went on to attack at least six other young ladies at a nearby apartment complex where he worked as a maintenance man. His last victim was able to stay conscious and eventually identify him in court. He was sentenced to 24 years in prison, but due to overcrowding he is up for parole on October 18th of this year, having only served 6 years. I have been told that if he apologizes and shows remorse that he will be released. I don't know how to live with this. I still skate the path where I was attacked, so he will know where to find me. All of the other victims have moved away and I feel alone to face him. He is a coward, that can't even rape a woman unless she is knocked out cold. But I can't stand the thought of him watching me or being anywhere near me. He knows everything about me and my family because I filled out an application at the apartments that he worked at. How do I go on? I can't think of anything other than the fact that this very angry monster who almost killed me and some of his other victims will be free to hunt again. I feel like running away from my life. I don't know how I can handle him attacking his next victim. So overwhelmed and scared and angry. This isn't fair!