One simple kind act

The crowds in the shopping centre are closing in.  I go to run I can't it's my job to stand here offering various products to the busy rush of people hurdling by.  

The Smell from a passing male lingers long enough in the air to catch his scent HIS SCENT. ( flashback)  Heart thumping I excuse myself to a colleague, with trembling fingers I close the toilet cubical behind me.  Ground Stephanie ground and breathe I repeat "this is now and that was then you are safe" I say this  over and over.  I finish my newly required roll and make my way home across the car park lot, my stomach is twisted from the anxiety of appearing normal while trying to make a living with involves face to face communication.  My body betrays me as I heave from the day's events luckily no one has seen.  

I run as fast as I can to catch my tram and then to make my way to my bus which will finally bring me home.  A two hour commute I pass the crime scene the road where my life changed in the tram and with every inch of strength I struggle but manage to stay present.

I get off the bus it's dark I hear sharp steps behind me " I can do this" I glance behind I see a man with his girlfriend my hearts slows its pace.

Finally home little miss sunshine my inner voice tells me how useless I am.  Why did you even think you could work you loser?  This is why you had to end things with your gf your not good enough?  Who'd want you damaged goods?  

I battle her and tell her to Get lost and remember the brand new book I brought.  SH thoughts are looming I'm dirty and damaged.  I open lyrebird book by Cecelia Ahern and see a signed autograph on the inside and in that second I feel happy, excited and special for all the people in the world I got this signed book.

Thank you for whoever placed there new signed book on the bookcase. For once my tears are not caused from someone hurting me but from someone being kind it's nice to be on the receiving end for a change.