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About this blog

This is my story, this is my life. 

Entries in this blog

Don't look back! Part 1

** THIS NEXT PART OF MY LIFE IS VERY HARD FOR ME TO SHARE. 95% OF WHAT YOU WILL READ I AM ASHAMED OF & HAVE NEVER TOLD A SINGLE SOUL!. PLEASE DO NOT BE JUDGMENTAL. I'VE CHANGED MY LIFE & I'M NOT THAT PERSON ANYMORE. I CAN'T ERASE MY PAST. I WAS YOUNG, DUMB & ALONE. I WAS STILL HAVING NIGHTMARES & FLASHBACKS FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA AS WELL AS RECOVERING FROM RAPE & MY STEPFATHERS SEXUAL ABUSE..THIS IS BEING DONE IN 2 OR 3 PARTS AS IT'S GONNA BE HARD FOR ME. BUT IF YOU'RE GONNA T
lostgirl1120

lostgirl1120

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Just when I thought I was safe!

After a long time of suffering my step-father's abuse, I confided in a friend who I would say was pretty close with. A male who I went to high school with who was at that time actually also dating one of my good girl friends. I honestly don't know what made me tell him of all people but it just came out one day. We used to skip class & go to his place to get high, not heavy drugs, just smoke some weed, do hoots of oil, the occasional hash. His dad was always there right in it with us & o
lostgirl1120

lostgirl1120

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Will it ever end?

Never would I of ever imagined the man who I called dad for at the time about 11 years...the one who was supposed to love & protect me, would ultimately be the one who let me down.  November 27th, 1995, 9 days before my 14th birthday. What was supposed to be one of the best days of my life to that date...My parents had surprised me with concert tickets for my birthday for that day to see my at the time 2 favorite bands White Zombie & The Ramones. My step-dad was taking me & I wa
lostgirl1120

lostgirl1120

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Finally one face has a name....

Standing in the kitchen, I'm around 2 yrs old, holding my doll, she was the most precious thing to me. Just a stuffed rag doll. Her dress & hat was purple with tiny white flower buds all over it, her apron was white with tiny purple flower buds. She had the cutest blonde braids & the biggest blue eyes. There's 2 men in the room with me. But i can see their faces, it's just shadows.Then one grabs my hand and the other one leads the way, they lead me through the dark living room to a brigh
lostgirl1120

lostgirl1120

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An Introduction to the life I didn't choose....

Sunday December 6th, 1981, my birthday. A day that everyone should be happy about and celebrate. I hate it. For me it represents the day I went to hell. Born to an unwed 16yr old mother & a 18 year old woman beater drunk sperm donor was not the parents I had in mind I assure you! I was unwanted, grandparents begged my mother for an abortion, but once I was born that did change. I was the apple of my grandfather's eye til his death in 2013. Life was less than ordinary, welfare home, everyone
lostgirl1120

lostgirl1120

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