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Energy. Where are you?? I am searching for you. While I lie in my bed with a thousands things that could be done, but instead I chose to stay. My body aches and my head cloudy. The energy that used to plow through my body is so hard to find now. I want to find it. This lack of energy is pulling me down deeper as I am trying to keep myself above water.
I have always been afraid to speak of my mistreatment. I carried it around with me because I was always told it was my fault. Everyone always told me who I was, I never had the chance to myself. So I have stayed silent. I took the pain and turned it into a smile. This smile wasn't just an ordinary smile, there were many elements to it. Confusion, fear, anger, sadness, hopelessness... It felt like the weight of the world and I felt it all alone. I also felt happiness. I felt it when I felt the wa