Tonight I am restless, finding it difficult to breathe, want to hide under the covers...my anxiety is in full throttle. I hate this. This is an anniversary time for me for abuse that happened around my 8th birthday. One of two incidents that happened at the hands of the boyfriend of a babysitter.
For some reason the two incidents with this guy are ones I remember clearly. I remember what happened...I remember his hand around my neck, I remember the pillow over my face, I re
My heart is so heavy with everything in the news this past week...
First, the story to the Stanford rape and "sentence" of Brock Turner. Articles, memes, and comments flooded my Facebook for days following. It not only angered me that this man could receive such a light sentence for such a crime as to not impact his future...the downplay of his actions by his father...the victim blaming. Also, it caused an incident that happened to me in college to play on a loop in my head for several days
So I've tried journaling, I've had a blog many, many moons ago. ...but it has been a long time since I have regularly written to try to deal with life. As a teenager, writing is what helped me survive. I never really wrote about the deep stuff, the really hard stuff, but enough that it got enough out to keep going. Most of the time my writing was desperate attempts to be a "good girl" - writing prayer lists of who I needed to pray for, begging for forgiveness for the things I had done wrong, wri