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first i need to realise it happened. then, to commit to therapy. then, tell the world and destroy his life like he destroyed mine.

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sometimes i wish he had kill me. just finish the job he started. when i think about suicide i always feel the sting of the reminder "he won".

i honestly have no idea why did he keep me alive, or if he ever wanted to, if the thought of killing me ever crossed his mind. 

but if it ever did, i shall not give him the satisfaction, he did his worse, and i will not lay a hand to silence me for good. 

i have never reported nor faced him with my accusations, but he knows damn well that i have the power, the upper hand, and if he ever to try my patience,

i will look him in his eyes, spit on him, and put him behind bars for as long as time. 

this is my fantasy, i am no warrior that i wish to be, i am just a scared little girl that likes to dream about revenge,. but the damage is done, 

no court or judge will ever bring me what i have lost within his greedy flesh

so i guess

all is left

to dream.

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