justasurvivor's Blog

Does anybody else have problems with their body? I remember the weeks after I was raped I would look in the mirror and stare at myself. Picking out every single flaw I thought was one. I never did this before, I always thought I was pretty in a modest way. I was happy, ya know? But then after, it's like all of that changed. And too this day, I can't look in the mirror and see that happy little girl I used to be. She's gone.

That pretty girl? She's a monster now. I hate it, a lot. I spend hours finding new ways to hate myself, because at the end of the day I think it's my body's fault, my fault, for what happened to me.

I told my best friend about what happened to me. It was hard, and at first I am not completely sure if she believed me or not. But after the words came out of my mouth, "I was raped by my brother," she at first was shocked. Then she hugged me, and told me that it would be okay. I felt like there was this weight lifted off my shoulders and it feels good. I urge anyone who is in the same position as me, or knows somebody who is. Tell somebody, even if it is a friend. It will help, I promise. I feel like I am one step closer to becoming myself again, like I can carry the weight of what happened and not let it affect me anymore. Much love xx

Hey, I'm new here, so I don't exactly know how to do this or what to say. I honestly doubt very many people will read this. But it makes me feel better typing this. I was raped when I was child, various times on many accounts. My rapist, my brother, should have known better. But truth is, I know he knew better. I'm 16 now, and he's in his 20s. Nothing's happened, and almost nobody knows, and now I'm trying to get better. I know I can do it. If anyone has any advice, please, I'm open ears. I need all I can get.