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About this blog

the full flowering of a human being

Entries in this blog

What Is Perfect?

In a perfect world, I would never have suffered abuse. I would have loving relationships with my entire family. My mom would be a whole human being whom I could talk to about anything. In fact, my mom would be a different person. Having a perfect conversation with my mom about my abuse would require her to BE a different person, and I guess that's part of why I'm so frustrated with her. I want her to be the kind of person I could lean on, but when I'm with her, I always feel like I have to stan



Just Admit It Already

Sometimes I get so angry at my mother. Like a wall broken in a dam, the anger comes rushing in, and all at once I am PISSED. I want to smack her, yell at her, make her feel some IOTA of the pain I feel. And all she's done is ask me what I want for dinner. I'll probably never tell this to anyone I know, but sometimes I wish I could live in a fantasy world with my mother. She seems to remember only what is convenient about my childhood, and firmly disputes any negatives. "Oh," she says, "I wasn't



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