The question is "How are you doing?"
Immediate answer is "Good, you?"
I smile even though inside I'm hurting,
Because society fears the truth:
I'm not okay.
If one were to open up and say
"I'm really not doing very well"
People would withdraw and back away,
So we hide behind fake happy shells.
We're not okay.
Our first world complaints are frivolous
To third world countries in poverty.
Tender tears of surrender
Stroke velvet saffron skin
Erecting it's fragile barrier
Concealing vulnerability within
A virgin to the insects
Too shy to open up
Made to feel belittled
Snubbed by rosey shrub
Blushed in crimson skin
They feel no contrite
Unlike the humble tulip
Satin skin gleaming light
Today, I feel so many different emotions. The five year mark of my rape is coming up. I dont know how I should feel about this. should I feel sad that five years ago someone I thought I knew took all of my power, control, confidence and peace of mind. Or should I feel empowered to know that ive made it five years without going completely insane. I want to think that im slowly getting better, but lately I feel more depressed then I ever have. I wont be home for this day either, im 8 hours away at
Heya my name is kirsty this is my blog. It will. Be potenially Triggering. I plan to share aspects of my. Healling journey as well as my story. Today is just. An introduction and. This is my. Blog. Brief. Introduction. To my story I was child sexually abused from the age 4-7, I was raped 3 times. By. Differnt people aged 15-19. And. In. The last. Year I have had a very sexually violent relationship. I will. Go into. Details about all of this at another point,
Ever since I was attacked, ive had really bad anxiety problems. I have panic attacks when it gets really bad. But on a daily basis, when things bother me I have trouble breathing, and my skin breaks out with red blochy marks. Its a dead give away, which makes it harder to deny that the littlest things are bothering me. My friends dont understand, but really neither do i. It could be something as small as a guy i dont even know looking at me or having a male waiter out at resturants or someone "j
Zipping merrily through sweet paradise
Yellowish skies with ribbons of blue
Xeranthemum fields play compliment to
Waterfalls of rich chocolate fondue
Vines of licorice spiral and climb
Upwards around cotton candy covered
Trees nesting lively marsmallow peeps
Singing tunes of visible colors
Rainbows that glimmer emerging from
Quartz rock candy scattered around
Perfectly iced giant cupcake bushes
Oh, what a delicious scene I've found!
Night falls upon this magical garden
I sing myself a silent lullaby
Of the day's long gone events
Seems no matter what I try
Active thoughts will not relent
My eyes drift to the digits
Ungodly hour aglow in red
Restless my body fidgets
With the pillows on the bed
My eyes refuse to listen
Indeed they will not close
They haven't my permission
To rebel against a doze
The darkness of the night
I saw mere seconds ago
Blinked into the morning light
Just how I'll never know.
At night when it's too dark out
I feel goosebumps trace my skin
But the hairs on edge soon calm
With the safety of your light
tanaga has four lines with seven syllables each…in its traditional form, all lines are rhymed at the end, although the modern form tends to be written in free verse..
Achluophobia: Fear of the dark.
Hello all. Im Ashley, a 19 freshmen in college. Im trying to teach myself how to become a survivor, but its not going very well. So, this is why im reaching out. Im not ready to tell my story, but im ready to slowly start dealing with what happened. Its starting to control my life and I cant take it anymore...I have so much life in me and I feel like its going to waste because im afraid to really live. Someone please help me....
I still can't believe I got to meet Megadeth. It was September 6th, 2011. My first concert without a parent. It was the American Carnage Tour with Slayer, Megadeth and Testament. I woke up at my dads house and got on the computer to get ahold of a friend to plan for the show. He was going out with someone at 1 and was supposed to be back by 2 or 3 at the latest. At 2, i get in my car and drive to his house with the tickets.
See, mine was a Backstage Pass thing and I had to be at the venue
Sorry again not best speller due my handcap. Any ways here go. Night after night I see your Face in my dreams can smell your breath as kiss me. The terror in my eyes made you laugh like mad man. was cuz your madman pimp or sadit or all they three. I see your face in my dream. I know your in hell now but i know you get glee now affter so many year after I escape you and rage. I still see you in my dreams.
Oh crud. My heart is beating like a gerbil's and I think that if I tried to stand my knees would give. I honestly want to faint.
What brought this on?
Simple. I took Teacher's advice (okay, order...) to heart and made a phone call. To a local organization that works solely with survivors of sexual violence. According to Teacher, this place has T's that know how to handle my boatload of suppressed memories, T's that can help me deal with the shards of my past that keep trying to surface.
What is a nightmare? why do have it night after night You see his face. And you what puke Then in your terror you Scream NO then he laugh at your. then he hurt even more then wake up scraming and Then wake the baby see her cry due your pain make me tear up just think about it now. every time I work late at the store I look for his face then I wait for my husband just to sleep. so I ask again What is a Nightmare after all this years after my attack I still see he Face In my dream. Sorry just
The last half may trigger. I swore once or twice, sorry. It just fit best.
I'm pretty sure that means 'what is this' in German, but I learned all of the German I know from a band.
But what is this?
I don't know quite yet. Perhaps I never will. I do know that this is where I'm going to talk about my life, but exactly what it will be about, I don't know. Everything from my past to my present and to my future. I might talk about my roommate, or music. Maybe a little about videogames an
So I'm not really familiar with blogging, or adding posts within blogs, etc. Who sees these? Where do they show up? How do I find others like me? It's all just a bit fuzzy to me when it comes to something just as simple as a message forum. I guess really I'm going to use this site, and more specifically my personal blogs as my unfiltered journals. I get to remain anonymous, the thoughts don't have to take up all of the space in my head and maybe I can get some advice or relate to others in retur
My baby sister, she's my love
She's the butter to my bread,
But she has a learning disabiliity
That she shall never be rid of
Though she's phsyically mature,
Her mind is somewhat behind.
Yet a sweeter soul you'll not find,
Of that statement I'm quite sure
And on one horrid fateful night,
The police came to our house.
They took away her dad - mom's spouse,
And this gave her quite a fright
He did not return from work next day,
And naturally she wondered why,
"Daddy is sick" was our r
In the land of opportunity I awoke
And I searched for the right place
I'm not too far from the simple folk
Whose transportation likes to graze
But my surroundings aren't sedate
Indeed your head would be spinning
To get to me you'd have a while to wait
20 minutes, an hour - I'm not kidding
Streetlights made of kisses inviting
You to the entry of a fantastic dream
Where everything is so exciting
And you'll find some common themes
I'm happy where I am right here
A chocolate heaven so b
I'm new to this site. I would eventually like to put my whole story on here. There will be triggers, so there's a forewarning, but I really need to get this all out. I've been to therapy, I've talked to friends and family members, but it's hard to feel better when no one really knows exactly how I feel. So I want to give everyone on here the chance to know exactly what is going on, if anyone is even interested. I won't use names with my story, just because things aren't all legally worked o