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Humble Beauty

Tender tears of surrender Stroke velvet saffron skin Erecting it's fragile barrier Concealing vulnerability within A virgin to the insects Too shy to open up Made to feel belittled Snubbed by rosey shrub Blushed in crimson skin They feel no contrite Unlike the humble tulip Satin skin gleaming light

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

 

A Million Different Emotions.

Today, I feel so many different emotions. The five year mark of my rape is coming up. I dont know how I should feel about this. should I feel sad that five years ago someone I thought I knew took all of my power, control, confidence and peace of mind. Or should I feel empowered to know that ive made it five years without going completely insane. I want to think that im slowly getting better, but lately I feel more depressed then I ever have. I wont be home for this day either, im 8 hours away at

AshleyyyRebecca

AshleyyyRebecca

 

Introducing My Blog

Heya my name is kirsty this is my blog. It will. Be potenially Triggering. I plan to share aspects of my. Healling journey as well as my story. Today is just. An introduction and. This is my. Blog. Brief. Introduction. To my story I was child sexually abused from the age 4-7, I was raped 3 times. By. Differnt people aged 15-19. And. In. The last. Year I have had a very sexually violent relationship. I will. Go into. Details about all of this at another point,

kj645

kj645

 

Anxiety.

Ever since I was attacked, ive had really bad anxiety problems. I have panic attacks when it gets really bad. But on a daily basis, when things bother me I have trouble breathing, and my skin breaks out with red blochy marks. Its a dead give away, which makes it harder to deny that the littlest things are bothering me. My friends dont understand, but really neither do i. It could be something as small as a guy i dont even know looking at me or having a male waiter out at resturants or someone "j

AshleyyyRebecca

AshleyyyRebecca

 

Magical Garden

Zipping merrily through sweet paradise Yellowish skies with ribbons of blue Xeranthemum fields play compliment to Waterfalls of rich chocolate fondue Vines of licorice spiral and climb Upwards around cotton candy covered Trees nesting lively marsmallow peeps Singing tunes of visible colors Rainbows that glimmer emerging from Quartz rock candy scattered around Perfectly iced giant cupcake bushes Oh, what a delicious scene I've found! Night falls upon this magical garden Moonlight lit

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

 

[Angels]

Angels Watch over you, Believe Please don't Give up just yet, Believe They swear Things will improve, Believe Get Up, Believe.

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

 

Evil Eyes

I sing myself a silent lullaby Of the day's long gone events Seems no matter what I try Active thoughts will not relent My eyes drift to the digits Ungodly hour aglow in red Restless my body fidgets With the pillows on the bed My eyes refuse to listen Indeed they will not close They haven't my permission To rebel against a doze The darkness of the night I saw mere seconds ago Blinked into the morning light Just how I'll never know.

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

 

Achluophobia

At night when it's too dark out I feel goosebumps trace my skin But the hairs on edge soon calm With the safety of your light ------------------------------------ Prompt: Lightpost Form: Tanaga tanaga has four lines with seven syllables each…in its traditional form, all lines are rhymed at the end, although the modern form tends to be written in free verse.. Achluophobia: Fear of the dark.

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

 

I'm New To All Of This. I Want To Feel Better.

Hello all. Im Ashley, a 19 freshmen in college. Im trying to teach myself how to become a survivor, but its not going very well. So, this is why im reaching out. Im not ready to tell my story, but im ready to slowly start dealing with what happened. Its starting to control my life and I cant take it anymore...I have so much life in me and I feel like its going to waste because im afraid to really live. Someone please help me....

AshleyyyRebecca

AshleyyyRebecca

 

The Day I Met Megadeth

I still can't believe I got to meet Megadeth. It was September 6th, 2011. My first concert without a parent. It was the American Carnage Tour with Slayer, Megadeth and Testament. I woke up at my dads house and got on the computer to get ahold of a friend to plan for the show. He was going out with someone at 1 and was supposed to be back by 2 or 3 at the latest. At 2, i get in my car and drive to his house with the tickets. See, mine was a Backstage Pass thing and I had to be at the venue

phantomlord

phantomlord

 

His Face

Sorry again not best speller due my handcap. Any ways here go. Night after night I see your Face in my dreams can smell your breath as kiss me. The terror in my eyes made you laugh like mad man. was cuz your madman pimp or sadit or all they three. I see your face in my dream. I know your in hell now but i know you get glee now affter so many year after I escape you and rage. I still see you in my dreams.

tina619

tina619

 

Eep?

Oh crud. My heart is beating like a gerbil's and I think that if I tried to stand my knees would give. I honestly want to faint. What brought this on? Simple. I took Teacher's advice (okay, order...) to heart and made a phone call. To a local organization that works solely with survivors of sexual violence. According to Teacher, this place has T's that know how to handle my boatload of suppressed memories, T's that can help me deal with the shards of my past that keep trying to surface.

CopperPhoenix

CopperPhoenix

 

Nightmare

What is a nightmare? why do have it night after night You see his face. And you what puke Then in your terror you Scream NO then he laugh at your. then he hurt even more then wake up scraming and Then wake the baby see her cry due your pain make me tear up just think about it now. every time I work late at the store I look for his face then I wait for my husband just to sleep. so I ask again What is a Nightmare after all this years after my attack I still see he Face In my dream. Sorry just

tina619

tina619

 

Vas Ist Das? Parts May Trigger

The last half may trigger. I swore once or twice, sorry. It just fit best. I'm pretty sure that means 'what is this' in German, but I learned all of the German I know from a band. But what is this? I don't know quite yet. Perhaps I never will. I do know that this is where I'm going to talk about my life, but exactly what it will be about, I don't know. Everything from my past to my present and to my future. I might talk about my roommate, or music. Maybe a little about videogames an

phantomlord

phantomlord

 

Second Entry In Here...

So I'm not really familiar with blogging, or adding posts within blogs, etc. Who sees these? Where do they show up? How do I find others like me? It's all just a bit fuzzy to me when it comes to something just as simple as a message forum. I guess really I'm going to use this site, and more specifically my personal blogs as my unfiltered journals. I get to remain anonymous, the thoughts don't have to take up all of the space in my head and maybe I can get some advice or relate to others in retur

hope2013

hope2013

 

The Purest Prayer

My baby sister, she's my love She's the butter to my bread, But she has a learning disabiliity That she shall never be rid of Though she's phsyically mature, Her mind is somewhat behind. Yet a sweeter soul you'll not find, Of that statement I'm quite sure And on one horrid fateful night, The police came to our house. They took away her dad - mom's spouse, And this gave her quite a fright He did not return from work next day, And naturally she wondered why, "Daddy is sick" was our r

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

 

Treasure Hunt

In the land of opportunity I awoke And I searched for the right place I'm not too far from the simple folk Whose transportation likes to graze But my surroundings aren't sedate Indeed your head would be spinning To get to me you'd have a while to wait 20 minutes, an hour - I'm not kidding Streetlights made of kisses inviting You to the entry of a fantastic dream Where everything is so exciting And you'll find some common themes I'm happy where I am right here A chocolate heaven so b

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

 

A Work In Progress

I'm new to this site. I would eventually like to put my whole story on here. There will be triggers, so there's a forewarning, but I really need to get this all out. I've been to therapy, I've talked to friends and family members, but it's hard to feel better when no one really knows exactly how I feel. So I want to give everyone on here the chance to know exactly what is going on, if anyone is even interested. I won't use names with my story, just because things aren't all legally worked o

USN11Sam

USN11Sam

 

Lost And Confused

Ugh. Not sure what i'm doing back. It's been a while i thought i was getting stronger. Just seems like one thing is after another. at the moment. It's been almost 3 years this june since my attack it's just crazy how time either goes really fast or slow. I finally got in a relationship. Instead of just a sleeping one. I've been really happy. untill recently. I know at times i can be a lot to handle. I have a lot of insacure issues that i need to get over. I'm strong but i'm weak. I thought i

inzerlinzer17

inzerlinzer17

 

High Spirits

Be gone with you, who can not be polite My spirits are high, and aren't coming down The smile on my face exudes my delight It's glued on so tight, I feel like a clown I feel so alive, my chest might explode I wish I could say just how great I feel But there are no words that can be bestowed For my elation is just so surreal My outlook is bright, I'm filled with such glee I'm jumping with joy, and squealing with bliss I really don't care what you think of me Let the world judge me for

VintageCrayon

VintageCrayon

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