Wow I have not been here in a while, I was here a while back and found this place really helpful so I am back.
Im Emily, I'm 25, I'm from New Zealand and I am going through a bit of hell at the moment to be honest. I have been abused by the same man (and others but he is the main person) since I was a very young child. The last time he raped me was about three weeks ago. I am so embarrassed and ashamed to say that out loud, i mean for goodness sake i am 25 and I still am terrified of him. I fight back but he is stronger than me, he has broken all my ribs down my left side before and now I am scared to fight in case it gets like that again. I feel disgusting. He is a friend of my dads and lived with us when I was growing up and ever since I left home he has tracked me down and found me. It's a small city but I cant afford to move right now. I was drinking everyday to numb it all but I went to rehab and i am now just about 6 months sober. It's good to be sober, but I am still trying to figure out how to live with all of this in my head without wanting to just get drunk. I have been in and out of hospital and diagnosed with bi polar disorder for the last two years and that has been rough. I guess I am going on a bit here so i will stop. Thanks for having this place, its sad to know im not alone but good at the same time if you know what i mean.