Obviously I am new here and just wanted to say hi to everyone. I have a wonderful "T" but have found reading this site very helpful too. I was nine when my first SA happened and my last was at 19; I am 41 now. I never told a soul, my T says that I had this buried so deep I never even thought about it until it all came crashing down. This past March I was triggered after listening to my son's girlfriend who needed someone to talk to. I started drinking heavily and shut out family and friends. Although this young lady was only 17 at the time, she encouraged me to get help along with two other wonderful friends. I am working through it; but like others I have good and bad days. These thoughts consume pretty much every waking moment. I am in law enforcement and deal with people like this, most of the time I want to curl up in a ball and cry or shoot them. I find it easier to talk and get it out, I just need someone to listen when no one else will.