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About dereliktdauter

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  • Birthday 11/18/1981

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  • Location
    Saint Louis, USA
  • Interests
    poetry, music, laughter, queers, religion, kitties, activism, rugby, women's studies, sociology, books, psychology/psychiatry
  1. i'm from st. louis, missouri, usa... lived in maine for 2 years when i was 19-21
  2. welcome! sorry to hear about your reason to be here, but glad that you found this place. i also struggle with anxiety and what not around men, and i think that its pretty normal for us. again, welcome! safe hugs take care, erin
  3. welcome! congrats on making your first post, and please take your time. you're worth it! safe hugs take care, erin
  4. yah i got an email too... when i emailed back to ask where the h*ll they got my email they just added me to the list (or maybe yahoo did that automatically hmmm). anywhoo i was pretty ticked off.
  5. Hi

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((safe hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) sammie, sorry that you have to be here, but glad you found us! this is a great place to find support, love, strength, and healing. remember to take gentle care of yourself! love, erin
  6. welcome Lola sorry that you have to be here but glad that you found us. take your time, and know that we're all here for you. (((((((((((((((((((((safe hugs)))))))))))))))))))) -erin
  7. maybe *T* "all he did was touch you" - my mother (about my father who shes still married to) and thats not all he did mom... and are fathers really supposed to stick their hands in their daughters underwear on a regular basis? "why don't you get over it and let it go" - my mother i let her have it and totally went off on her and it felt soooooooooooo good
  8. my best friend keeps saying stuff like "he m*lested me!" in a jokin manner talkin about this guy who's very huggy and what not. its one thing to talk about feeling uncomfortable around the guy, its another thing to use that word in that context. i keep wanting to tell her that she doesn't know what its like, but my voice gets stuck everytime i try. its just like when people say "thats so gay" to talk about things that are boring or pointless.
  9. Hey Ruby!! Welcome here. I'm sorry to hear about your struggles and what has happened to you, but I'm glad that you have found it here. I too am in recovery for drug addiction. Its a wonderful journey. Keep on it!! If you ever need anything, I'm here. Take care of yourself!! ((((safe hugs))))) -erin
  10. i can only really think of one that comes to mind... when i first started therapy i had no memories of my father's abuse, but was having nightmares of the abuse and was having panick attacks all the time especially in certain areas of the house where i grew up. i was telling my therapist of the nightmares and that i was almost positive that i had been sexually abused by my father for lots and lots of reasons. i just nad no visual memories (just memories of fear and shame when i was little when it was happening). she said that because i didn't have any memories of the abuse, that it probably didn't happen. she said that i probably was using it as a justification of my hatred towards my father for being so mentally and physically abusive to me and my mom. i didn't really believe her, but i tried to cuz it was easier than talking about how i had felt. three and a half years and a few different therapists later, i was sitting in class and i was hit with a memory out of nowhere, this time it was visual. what i had felt and known all along was validated. i went to therapy the next day and didn't say anything. partially because i had pushed it to the back of my mind, partly because i was afraid. about 5 days later, i told my best friend and my sponsor (like a mentor...i'm a recovering addict), and for the first time that part of my life was validated. i can't explain how incredible that felt. the next tuesday, i went to therapy and was shaking. i was going to tell her, but i didn't know how. i was so afraid that she'd think i made it up too. i was shaking. terrifyed. i knew in my head that she would be awesome and understanding, but my past experience rendered me terrifyed. i went in there shaking, and told her, and it was amazing being able to start working through it with her. yay. ok that was a really really really long reply. sorry abouts that. it did feel good tho to get that out. and i just want to add that people definitely don't get it sometimes. we just can't let them get to us.
  11. hi

    Hey Betty! Welcome! I'm sorry to hear about what has happened and how your mum is treating it, but I'm grateful to hear that you have found this place and that you have spoken out. ((((hugs)))) if you need anything, let me know. i'm sure everyone else here will listen as well. take care of yourself!! -erin
  12. hey Carol welcome!! i'm sorry to hear what has happened to you, but i'm glad that you have found your way here and to the healing process. if you ever need anything, please let us know! (((((hugs)))) -erin
  13. (((((((((((((((((((((megan)))))))))))))))))) welcome!!! i am sorry to hear why you have to be here but i am grateful that you made it here and have shared your experience, strength, and hope with us. i hope you find this place as healing as i have. i can totally relate the stuffing memories and the "mr perfect" thing. i stuffed all my memories until about 3 years ago, and it was only about a month ago that memories of my father started coming up. and my father is "mr perfect", although pretty soon (i hope) he won't be seen that way. again, welcome! its great that another survivor has spoken out, and if you ever need to talk, i'm here, and i'm sure a lot of others are here as well. take care!! -erin
  14. (((((Angel)))))) Welcome! You have found support - here among all these incredible people. I am sorry for the reasons that you are here, but I am proud of you for taking that first step. Congradulations!
  15. WELCOME I hope you find this place as helpful as i have