That is a lot to deal with and the stress must be exhausting. I commend your courage and drive! I have one of those books, but just start and stop reading it. Not really a self-starter myself. Or finisher if you prefer. I hope the state agrees to pay for your therapy soon. If your income is low enough, there should be no problem. Wow, you are really doing everything you can and more to overcome this horrible situation and, again, I just want to say how very strong you seem. However the court case turns out, just keep moving in the right direction and, someday, you will make it to a place where your life will be better. We are all doing that. Everyday I look at the same four walls and things seem to be going very slowly, but there are times on this site that some post gives me insight into something, and my hope is renewed, my strength to move on comes back, and I feel like envisioning a better life down the road. The road to healing is a long one, full of ups and downs, but believe me, it does get better. Keep trying. I don't have all the right words tonight, but I hope you will come back and talk with others and find what you need.